Changes

The last few months have been full of pending changes and weird transitions. My emotions have been all over the place! One day I'd be so anxious for it to be done, and the next I'd be dreading it.

As you probably know I've been leading this group of MidSingles, ages 31-45, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for about 2 1/2 years. It has been an amazing period in my life full of great experiences and extremely trying experiences. All of which have made me into who I am today. I've been released from my job there, and I've had mixed feelings about it, but I know that it's time, and there's something new ahead for me. I just don't know what, and that is part of the mixed emotions.

The transition has been going from what I've been working on, to being merged into a new MidSingles ward, which is an answer to many prayers. I was out to dinner with a friend the other night, and we were talking about these transitions. He came from a different ward, and hadn't participated in my stuff before. He kept saying he didn't even know where I was coming from, and doesn't fully understand my emotions. I've been able to be involved with so many midsingles with various situations and backgrounds, that these transitions worry me for the ones that are feeling left out.

I've had a lot of time to reflect on things that have happened over the last few years, and I'm thankful for that. Between two Sundays I saw every guy I've dated in the last three years. Weird! Through that I was able to reflect on the changes that I'd gone through because of them. I found myself being grateful for all the experiences. Even though they didn't all bring positive changes with them, I'm grateful for the experiences.

Anyways, I'm grateful for all I've learned and the many wonderful people I've gotten to know! Looking forward to what's ahead! I'm sure it won't be easy, but it'll be a ride!

"Do You Talk as a Rule While Dancing?"

Anyone know what movie that line is from?!  It happens to be the show that I watch when I'm sick.  I don't know why, maybe it's the relaxing colors, the beautiful music, the handsome Mr. Darcy (as in from the movie, not from past posts :))

I was at a dance on Saturday night, and this line kept popping up in my head.  I've never been a fan of dances.  While watching people dancing, I thought to myself that I wish I knew how to dance like that, (you know the real dancing, not the jogging in certain shapes and thinking you're dancing), but then I thought, do I really?  Not so much!  I mean it would be fun, to be able to do something awesome while at a dance, but there are just some things that are way uncomfortable to me. 

I remember going to dances during jr. high and high school, not like the date dances, because obviously that wouldn't have the awkwardness, because you came together, but the other dances or stake dances, and just finding them really awkward.  Did you have to talk the whole time or could you just dance?  No one seemed to know what to do. Well, that's sort of the same thing now!

On Saturday, I was dancing with one of my friends, and we both mentioned how we felt awkward in this sort of setting, and I said, "Hey, at least we can be awkward together."  We continued to talk and dance, and it was quite enjoyable!

Then there was someone that asked me to dance, we have an uncomfortable past, and he kept talking.  I was right back there in jr. high, when I'd be dancing with someone I was uncomfortable with, and the whole song I kept thinking to myself... "let's not talk, let's not talk, when's this song going to be over?" 

So, I'd say yes to talking, just as long as you're smart about who you're dancing with :)

stuff...

You know that I like to share some of the excitement going on in the LDS Mid-Singles world.  I've been lucky enough to be included in some monumental moments in people's lives.  I'm so grateful for the chances I've had to get to know so many people and serve with them, and get to know them so well.  I will forever be thankful for the opportunities that being the chair person for this mid-singles program has given me.  Congrats to everyone that's getting married or has gotten married in the past month and those graduating!  You're all amazing!

Life is always full of entertainment, stress, and fun!  I've been working this part-time job, that is SO FREAKIN' EARLY in the morning that I about die of tiredness mid-afternoon, and if I don't get a short nap, I get a second wind and a third wind to keep going as late as I need to go, but things seem harder or more stressful or more funny then they really are.  I'm in a nearly constant state of being on an emotional roller coaster, where I'm laughing because I'm so tired or I'm crying because I'm so tired.  Part of this tiredness, is that people are always asking me if I'm okay.  It drives me nuts!  Do I look that bad?  I will be feeling like I look presentable, and then 3 or 4 people will mention how tired I look or tell me not to worry, I'll be able to relax in such and such time.  It does wonders for your self esteem ;)

The other night we had an activity, and this guy had my put eye drops in his eye, because he'd never done it before.  Oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard!  As he flinched as the drops landed in his eye, I jumped, because it startled me.  So weird! 

Remember when I was the wingman in a proposal?  They got married today!  That's another story, though.  So, I thought I was done being a wingman, but as I was chatting with this guy, thinking how fun this conversation was, he says, "We should be each other's wingman."  As I mentioned, I'm tired all of the time, and I heard him, but it took a couple seconds for me to realize what he said.  So, my question is:  What exactly does a girl do as a wingman?  He said he'd watch out for me, and protect me from the creepers, when he's around.  He said I could warn him about any crazy girls.  I guess it's a good program, but it caught me off guard, and I don't want to be a wingman.  There have been a few times since that I thought it would be great to have him there to block me from creepers staring at me.  Maybe since he wants to be my wingman, he could set me up with his friends or something.  Interesting thought!

Well, those are the rantings of this tired girl!

When does one date turn into "dating"?

As any of you few readers, that read this know, I sometimes use this as an outlet to share weird situations I run into in this delightful singles world.  Well, I'm just going to get a little something out there, and then it'll all be good!

I got an email from a guy I went on 2 dates, count that 2 a long time ago, probably 14 months ago, or so.  I've posted previously about that experience.  Anyways, it was just a friendly "hello, what have you been up to" email, ---> I have to say that when my brother was on his mission, he had a certain girl that loved him and was waiting for him, and did a study abroad thing right near his mission, hoping to get a chance to see him... Anyways, she wrote to him all of the time.  He said that her letters wore him out.  Well, I get that way often!  If someone is just rambling or if they're constantly texting, oh my gosh, I have things to do... Okay, so that's not the case when I'm really into someone, but when I'm not... <--- font="">Okay back to the story.  The emails were coming, more like instant messages, but that's another thing... I don't mark myself online for the above mentioned reason. Then he says he has something he wants to show me, and proceeds to tell me, and tells me it reminded him of something I had said once.  I thought it was funny that he even remembered something so small, and told him so.  He said, "well, you were the only girl I dated that had ever said anything like that, so it stood out."

So, that's where my question of the night comes from.  When does a date or two turn into actually dating?  According to me, one, two, maybe three dates in is just "going on dates" not "dating."  It's still the process of figuring out if I want to actually "date" the person.  By the fourth date, yep, I'd say we're dating, but those initial dates not really.

I know some guys who think that just asking someone out means that they're stuck having to date the girl.  I don't know where that idea comes from.  Are they over thinking?  Have they run into lots of over-bearing, over-anxious women?  I don't know.  Probably, both.  I saw on a girls blog that we singles need to have faith, and faith without works is dead, so when the plan is to have an eternal family, but you don't go on dates, then how's that going to happen. 

I saw on a guys blog something about being Mr. Nice Guy, and it doesn't work for the nice guys.  He said that the girl saying, "You're nice, but..." is not the best way to put it.  It's hurtful and mean, but he doesn't think that they intentionally are trying to be mean, but it is.  So interesting to see these different perspectives coming out.  I think the "you're nice, but..." in the guy world, is the same as me having to be every guys best buddy.  It's nice to have friends, but really there needs to be more.

Speaking of being someone's buddy, which in this case I'm totally fine with.  I love when I get texts asking about other girls.  You know, if I'm friends with the girl that's one thing.  When I hardly know the girl... Let's just say, I am NOT a wingman!  Seriously!  It was something to help with an engagement a month or so ago, but that was a one time deal, and I'm not in the business of setting you up or giving you insights into getting that special girl!

Really?!, again!

I've been super chatty on here lately, don't know why, but sometimes you just gotta get it off your shoulders and move on.  Well, I do know what got my juices flowing.  I went out to breakfast with one of my good friends last weekend, and we have a lot of similar ideas.  She has worked with a mid-singles program down south, and so we got together to discuss new ideas, new needs, things to jump start people into progressing.

My mind has wandered over some of the things we talked about, the needs we see.  I, apparently, am one that people like to delve their secrets to.  I'm not going to give away any of their secrets, or mention any names, because they trust me, and I wouldn't ever want to lose their trust.  However, I may discuss, in general some of these things.

I've mentioned before how people like to tell me their dating problems, and want me to give suggestions, and help them out.  I must have some kind of sign that says "Relationship Coach Here" with an arrow pointing at me.  In the beginning, I would hear tons of things from women.  I now hear it from both sides, and it's weird. 

On a side note:  I do not agree with the women that bash on men, treat them poorly, or baby them the whole time.  I believe men have an amazing potential, and if they're going to ever live up to that potential they need to be treated with respect.  There's nothing more annoying than seeing a wife putting down her husband, treating him like he's an idiot, etc.  It makes me want to... well, to be honest, I think they need a swift kick in the rear.  Being a single, LDS woman, living where the norm is to get married at 18, and being 32, I think to myself that these women have NO freaking idea how lucky they are!  I know there are things that the whole world doesn't get to see in your relationship, but the whole world shoudn't have to hear and see you treating your husband like he's an idiot.  However, MEN, grow up!  Not all men, as I've previously mentioned, there are a great many men out there that are amazing!  Okay... done with that ranting!

Okay, back to the story.  I have people that confide in me inner secrets that a) if they're telling me, they better be thinking we're more than mere "acquaintances", b) I question why, what drives them to inform me (especially when they're big, and I can't be telling others to relieve that weight), and they don't seem to think we have any sort of relationship (relationship, not as in love, but relationship as in trust, friends, able to talk), and c) if they expect me to be able to hear all of it, and live forever knowing it, then they sure as heck better step up and be willing to help me when I ask them a favor or listen to me when I need to vent.

In the fall, I was told something that weighed me down, immensely!  I couldn't sleep that night, because I was so stressed about it.  My TMJ was insane for like the next week, granted there were other stresses that week, but that was a major part of it all.  In fact, since then, generally any conversation with Mr. D, we'll call him, leads to me rubbing my face and taking 6 aspirin.  I've considered Mr. D a good friend, for quite some time, and when we have disagreements, I find myself not sleeping.  Why?  I couldn't tell you!  I know that we're not ever going to be more than the person that he feels comfortable confiding in, and then not talking to for weeks.  It's selfish! 

This is leading me to the pet peeve of the moment... Communication or lack thereof!  I, personally, know that I need to work on improving my communication skills.  You can read about my communication insecurities here.  (It won't let me link you directly to that exact post, but it was a couple days ago.)  Anyways, I think that people don't know how to communicate well.  I think that texting, emailing, facebooking, etc. have all made people not know how to communicate.  A few months ago, a neighbor was over, and he was talking about how his brother works late hours, because then he doesn't have to be communicating with his significant other, because unless he's talking about himself, he doesn't know how to do it.  I for one would much rather text or email than call.  Calling terrifies me, pretty sure I've mentioned that before :)

I was riding home from Salt Lake with a guy, and he was great to talk to... IF... we were discussing him, his work, his family... anything else was so uncomfortable.  Then, again, there are the dates that you feel like you're on a job interview... 20 Questions is only fun, if they're not being fired at you one after the other, after the other.  Ask a question, let her answer, then answer it for yourself.  There is one guy I went out with a couple times, other than him knowing that I love ReAL, which he could've known from facebook, as well.  I don't think he could tell you one thing he learned about me, that he couldn't have learned by checking facebook or watching my interactions when I'm in front of everyone.  We went to a concert in Salt Lake, and the entire ride down, I said maybe two sentences, other than "uh-huh..." or "that's funny."  On the way home, I said "uh-huh" three times, THREE!

Then there is the girl that thinks she is being funny, by saying with a laugh how stupid someone is.  It's not nice.  You know things might not be as they seem, there, either, but putting someone down never makes you look good.

Then there's the person that's a "friend" that knows the ways to break down my walls.  He can tell they're up, and he knows the words to say to break them down, until I'm completely exposed, and then pulls a zinger out!  Really?!  What's the purpose?

Anyways, I'm going to be working on my communication skills!

New Year, New You!

It's that time of year, where you look back at all that has gone on, and you can see all the ways you've been blessed.  You can see where you've struggled, and decide on things you want to change.

I don't make New Year Resolutions.  I, generally, have time to sit and contemplate the things I want to change at Snowbird.  There's something about being up there, at the end of summer, out in the beautiful mountains, where you can feel closer to Heavenly Father than you do in the crazy, busy-ness that goes on down in the valley.  That being said, I'm not going to post any goals or resolutions, but I want to share some things I'm grateful for.

I have to say that the last year has been amazing in many ways!  Amazing in good ways and amazing in bad ways.  I feel like I've been being a downer for the last while, and I don't like that I've become that way, so I'm working on fixing that (I think I may have stated a resolution ;)). 

I've been serving in the LDS Mid-Singles program in Davis County for nearly a year.  For those that don't know, midsingles are singles in many various circumstances from divorced, widowed, and unmarrieds between the ages of 31-45 years old.  I've probably said this before, but I would never have imagined me being a leader like this.  When I started showing up for the weekly religion classes about 19 months ago, my plan was to attend the class, because I needed the spiritual uplift and get out of there.  I was shy and nervous, and didn't want to be noticed.  Then one day someone noticed me, and welcomed me in, and it felt right, so I stuck to it.  Through this program I have met a lot of amazing people that I have grown to love!  I've also learned many, many things!  Some things I sort of wish I hadn't, but oh, well!  Overall, I can't believe I'm the same person that walked in there not that long ago!  I've been able to step out of my comfort zone, that had me sitting on the back row, by the door, with my phone in hand, so I could escape, to being in front of many, many people and feeling completely comfortable.  I'm not saying that I'm always completely comfortable, but it's been amazing, because I have moments where I'm nervous and shy, but I just have to put on that "leader persona" and I can walk up there and do what needs to be done, and the nervousness and shyness dissipate.  I'm grateful for that!  I'm grateful for the wonderful people I've been able to associate with!  I'm still in shock to think that I accompanied Emmy nominated violinist, Jenny Oaks Baker.  It was thrilling!  Terrifying, but thrilling! 

I'm so grateful for a loving and supportive family!  I don't know what I would do without my mom, my brother, sister-in-law and their kids, and the support I can feel from my dad!  I'm thankful for all of my nephews and niece!  I'm grateful for each of their own identities, with their personalities, talents and all that comes with them.  Ford is brilliant and beautiful and so talented, and knows so much!  I'm grateful for his testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!  Ev is the funniest kid I know.  He's really smart, and is an amazing, athletic boy! Ady is hilarious and darling and my little twin!  Akston has been a comfort to me these past few months, as I get to cuddle him and rock him to sleep.  I am blessed!

I'm grateful for the people I've been able to serve with in young womens.  I'm amazed at the strength of the youth in the stake!  There are so many that have amazing gifts, talents, and testimonies.  I've loved getting to know them and see them grow up. 

I'm grateful for the abilities I've been given!  Heavenly Father has blessed me in so many ways, and I'm so grateful!  I'm in awe, knowing that He knows me, and knows my needs, and loves me.  I'm amazed that I can receive answers to prayers, and that even when I don't like those answers, and I keep wanting different answers, that I still know when my prayers are answered.

I wanted to share this video , as the new year is upon us.  I hope you enjoy it and take advantage of the new beginning that we all have!

Last Sunday was the 4th Annual MidSingles Christmas Music Devotional:  "God Loved Us So He Sent His Son."  It was amazing!  I'm so grateful for all those that participated and helped and put it together.  One of my friend's, that was pretty much in charge, mom said that this was the best one she'd been to, and she'd been to them all.  This was my second one to participate in.  The choir was amazing, really.  I was nervous the whole time for how it would come off, but they were great! 

It had been a huge weight on my shoulders, and on Saturday, I finally felt that weight lift, knowing that I'd done all I possibly could, and that had to be enough.  The Saturday before, I let weaknesses of mine show that some had never seen, and didn't know what to do about me.  Thinking about breaking down and crying in front of so many is somewhat embarrassing, but at the same time hilarious!  Nothing was working, and people weren't there, and by the end of the rehearsal I was a disaster.  Thank heavens for my friend, Tiffany, stepping in and taking care of organizing people to help decorate.  Poor Gary and Vaughn looked at me like they'd never seen anything like that, and didn't know what to do.  I had asked for people to bring trees and lights and garlands, if they had any available, and some guy came up to me afterwards and told me that that was not going to work, and asked me if I'd ever done anything like that and actually had it work.   I knew people would come through, and I had done it before, and it worked!  The guy apologized a few days later. 

Here are the decorations!  Now imagine the stage filled with people.  It turned out really well, and people were amazing to be there and we got it done so quickly! (My camera has a short in it, so none of the other pics turned out well)



The program was amazing!  There were many talented soloists, duets, ensembles, both vocalists and instrumentalists.  I was thrilled to be able to accompany one of the choir songs, and not have to accompany more than that.  I loved getting to sing!  I was able to sing in one of the ensembles, and it was accompanied by a strings ensemble and piano.  It was so cool!

I'd been spending so much time, getting the decorations made for these trees, and other things for that, plus a house I'm working on, it took a while for me to get Christmas up in our house.  It's up and I love it, other than the guy cut the bottom of the tree really crooked, so we have the leaning tree of Layton in our house.  When I say leaning, I'm not even kidding.  I turned it so it's leaning more towards the wall now, but it's WAY slanted!  Having the Christmas spirit has been a little more difficult this year than past years with the stress of activities and performances that have been happening, Mom's been way sick for almost 2 months, but last night she seemed much better, and my mood has put a damper on things.  I'm trying to be better, though.

So, you know when you're in an uncomfortable situation, there are those automatic reactions to fight or fly.  Well, flying is my way to cope.  I have to escape.   A couple months ago, I had gone to a fireside/devotional, and saw someone that I care a lot about with someone, and my reaction was, "oh my heck.... I have to get out of here."  I sat there and kept telling myself I'm a grown up, I can handle things and be mature about the whole situation.  Well, that talk lasted about a verse and a half of the opening song, I'm not even kidding, I was out of there!  Well, it's been a couple months, and you'd think I would be fine by now.  So, I was up singing in the ensemble at the devotional when this other someone walked in and went and sat next to the original someone.  It took all I had to stay where I was.  Holy cow!  What's the deal?!  The rest of the devotional went on, and I kept focused on the performers (apparently so focused that it looked like I was checking one of them out, but really I was watching the piano keys not anything else :)), and didn't escape.  I was so proud of myself.  Isn't that ridiculous!?  Thank heavens for family that was there to distract me afterwards, and responsibilities that got me back to being able to be me.  We had the fastest clean up of the Bountiful Regional Center, ever!  I was thrilled so I didn't have to do it by myself yesterday. 

Last night we had our annual Church side Christmas FHE.  It used to be that we'd get together and eat dinner and sing carols.  Now that Grandma isn't with us anymore, and Darlene lives in Mesquite during the winter, it has changed.  It was fun, though!

Last week two of Collin's kids had little programs for their tumbling and dancing.  Ev is an amazing little tumbler!  Ady is amazing on the bar at tumbling, and then quite the little dancer.  She had a mirror off stage, but right by her, that she was totally hamming it up, loving watching herself.  So funny!

I'm soon to be released from serving in the stake young women, which is heart breaking to me!  I've loved young womens.  Two weeks ago, I left an Evening of Excellence, and walked out saying, "This is why I love young womens!"  Wednesday night, Mom got a call asking if she'd be okay with me being released to serve in my ward.  She said no, because of all of my other responsibilities, but here I am the new primary secretary.  Hopefully, I'll be able to feel comfortable in this position being able to serve with kids soon.

Remember my dating post from last February?  Read here.  There are men out there that totally surprise me with how unaware, mean, rude, etc. they can be.  However, I'm not going to talke about that tonight.  I'm going to talk about the crazy women out there!

The other night I was at Cheesecake Factory after a midsingles temple night.  I happened to end up sitting in a booth with a group of men.  Fun for me :)  One guy had all of these abilities and experiences, and one of the other guys asked him why he wasn't married.  I thought it was kind of a funny conversation, because I've only had that sort of conversation with women.  So, guy A, with the experiences said he's ready to be married, but it's just not happening yet.  He said that he has moments when he thinks I could totally marry this girl, but he waits 6 months, and by that time the girl stops her fake behavior and then she's not what he wants, or she lies about her beliefs/standards, even to talking about how great her ward is, just to fine out that she's not a member of the church after dating for a while.  Listening to this, I just thought, OH.MY.GOSH!  I can't stand women like that!  These stupid women are out there ruining things for all these other great women!  I'm grateful that I'm not one of those women.  I'm the same person whether I'm dating someone or being in front of people or being by myself. 

Then there is the girl that is the total charmer.  She loves to have a following, she loves to have a following of men and women.  She's a great communicator, makes you feel like you are so important.  She goes out with lots of men, and sucks them right in.  She then opens up to them, some, and they open up a ton!  They tell her all of their past things, good or bad, and then she takes what they say, and use that information to warn other women.  So not a good situation!  Once again, the men are being chased away from decent women, because the men are wary about opening up, again; and don't want to be around women that that one woman may have been around.

Then there are all of the girls that are negative and put down EVERY guy they run into.  Really?!  I have to say that people are going to act the way they're being treated.  If you treat them like they're dumb, they're going to act like it with you. 

People deserve to be treated wonderfully!  Men, women, everyone needs to be treated with respect!  Be honest.  Be careful.  Be someone that someone can trust! 

Watch or read this.  It's a great message!

Last night I had a meeting with the committee heads of the midsingles program.  We were talking about our spring conference.  I was talking about how I want a workshop that is based on identifying yourself.  Last time, I had Matt Townsend come and speak.  He talked about it doesn't matter WHAT you are, it's WHO you are.  I thought it was a great message.  It wasn't anything new, it was something that people needed, though.  A great reminder!

My reason behind this is that I've been sad with the way some people identify themselves.  One older guy at an activity introduced himself as (names will be changed, not that anyone knows him, I don't think I'd know him if I saw him, again.)  "Hi, I'm Rob, I'm unemployed and live at his parents house, too," pointing towards the guy next to him.  Others are like, "Hi, I'm Vanessa, I'm divorced."  Yes, these are things that are a part of you, but they AREN'T you!  You are a Daughter or a Son of God!  That's your divine identity!  Believe it!  Live it! 

However, all that being said, I identify myself as "Hi, I'm Pyper.  I have severe trust issues."  I can't wait for the day, that someone comes along that helps me overcome that!  Well, I've had someone like that before, but, well...  yep, I need to work on that.  I know that people can't make you one way or the other, you LET yourself be affected.  It's just hard!  I deal well with lots of different kinds of people, and I LOVE people, but when disappointments come along, it just pushes me farther into that hole of not trusting.  Then, it takes a lot to get me back to trusting that person, and being able to really trust what seems to be happening, or trusting myself that I can really discern what is happening. 

I've been praying that I'll be able to discern things better, and I'm grateful for the answers to those prayers.  Hopefully, I can continue to better myself in that way!  Anyways, those are my thoughts for the day! 

Stuff...

It's been an insanely busy few weeks!  I had everything under control and timed correctly to get everything I needed to be done on time, whether it was for young womens or my conference.  I had a couple situations that distracted me from the task at hand.  Then a client of mine needed his stuff done, IMMEDIATELY!  So, I had very little sleep, and didn't feel as into my conference as I wanted to be. 

This is a board with three different kitchen designs.

This is the bathroom design.  It all was a basement.

My mind was wandering over the situations, and over this house that was huge, and I just felt run down.  We had Standards Night in the middle of it, and it came time to pick the hymns, and I just felt like picking "High on a Mountain Top" and "I am a Child of God."  Then we sat there listening to the great talk, and both songs fit perfectly!  I was amazed I could be guided, when I so was not feeling it! 

This conference was longer and bigger then ever before.  It ran Sept. 17-23.  Personally, I think it was too long, but I really enjoyed all of the activities, except for maybe the dance.  I am so grateful for all of the help!  I did a lot of work beforehand, but had those that helped not been there for the things I was over, it never would have happened! 

We had a Photo Scavenger Hunt FHE.  Service projects at the Utah Food Bank and the Bountiful Food Pantry.  Brad Wilcox did a mid-week devotional and was freaking amazing!  We had an ice cream trough for dessert, idea credit goes to Emma.  It was way fun! They did a temple night at the Salt Lake Temple (I was at Standards Night).  Friday night was an EXTREME carnival.  Emma, Jeanine, and Garrett were amazing planning this activity!  We had blow up toys, like jousting, sumo, and an obstacle course.  We had giant checkers, giant jenga, giant twister, Angry Birds, a photo booth, human bowling, popcorn, sno cones, cotton candy, s'mores, and a food truck, that was delicious!  It was so much fun!

Saturday was my day, well the day that most of my things I stressed about was on.  I had Matt Townsend as our keynote speaker.  He did an amazing job!  He was so right on with what the midsingles needed to hear, it was fantastic!  We had awesome workshops, games, food and fun!  The main complaint of the conference was about the dance.  We reserved an indoor soccer place and had a live band.  It should've been awesome!  Fun venue.  Fun band.  Well, the band never really played songs you could dance to, so it was like a concert on a soccer field.  There were big stresses the whole time planning the dance part, and setting it up, and all of that!  Next time I want it to be easier, even though I still want it at a fun venue.  My friend, John, got us a stage for the band, and that was the biggest headache, so I'm so grateful he took care of that for me!  There was a lot of physical labor this time around, because of the stage, transporting tables and chairs from the church to the field and back, plus set up and take down at the church.  It was big! 

I've compiled my list of the things I loved and things that needed work.  I'm sure others have suggestions, too.  Overall, it was a great experience!

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On other notes, I've been getting a kick out of the differences between men and women.  Women for some reason have to give all of these details and feel like it's important to share that, whether it's talking in person, texting, email, etc...  So, I type this big long whatever, and the guy responds with "ok" or "cool."  It drives me insane!  I'm going to work on being less wordy :)  Then, I don't talk that much, when it's one on one, but I say something, that seemed important or maybe was funny in my head, and I just get this look like, "really?"  Then, I'm always like, I should just stop talking!  So dumb!  Or the situation of relationships changing, it's one way one day, and then completely different the next; and, in the cases I've seen recently, the guy is so quick to move to the next opportunity, and the girl is left going, Whoa, was that even real?  Sometimes it is really hard to tell. Especially being one that is especially cautious about getting involved, and then takes a long time to get over it; even when it was my decision.  It's just been interesting!

Oh, and I have been on two dates now where I've seen one of my laurels on a date.  Such a weird feeling!  The first one was funny, and she was way cute.  The latest one, I'm glad I was there, and could inadvertently stop a situation from continuing, at least where we were.  I sure hope she didn't drive somewhere else and continue the activity.  So strange!

The other night, I was out in the parking lot at church talking to one of my good friends, and one of the midsingles came over and talked to us.  She has a lot of challenges in her life, healthwise.  She was talking about all of the things her siblings have done, that she's not been able to, and said, "...but that's okay.  I'm waiting for the Second Coming, and then I'll be able to be perfect and do all of those things, but until then..."

What a fantastic outlook on life!  It was a great reminder!

I went to this fireside on dating about a month ago.  It was really funny, well, I thought it was funny!  It was all about the approach and ways for men to handle rejection, and still look like they have confidence, and for women to make sure they touch a guy they're interested in, in a certain way, no patting, you need to brush their arm with your palm, not just fingertips... stuff like that.  I was laughing at most of it!  It was really funny to see how these dumb things she was suggesting would actually work.  The whole reason I went, was because she had written an article that someone sent to me once about why he wasn't dating, and I wanted to see her in person.  Anyways, during the meeting people were acting like this information was life or death to them.  There were moments of awkwardness, when she said things not to do, that I know I've done, and that I'd even said some of these things, that I shouldn't have, according to her, and I'd said them to someone that was sitting pretty close in proximity to me.  I actually did reject someone the way she suggested to, once, and he was there, and wouldn't even look at me.  Can we say AWKWARD!?  After the fireside, while eating refreshments, people were practicing on each other.  It was hilarious!  She did say "to practice on your B list, not your A list," and people were taking advantage of the opportunity :)

Anyways, since then I've thought about some of the things she said, and I have to say I agree with her on some of the things.  She talked about how the girl needs to feel safe.  I hadn't ever really thought about that, probably dumb of me, but it never even crossed my mind that I hadn't felt safe with people.  I know I'm pretty shy, and I don't talk much when I first meet someone, but I just thought that was because I was shy.  (The funny thing is that whenever I'm in front of a crowd, like doing my midsingles things, I may get nervous, but it's my responsibility to lead, so I lead and talk and do whatever else is required of me.)  Well, I can tell you the day I realized I felt safe in this friendship/relationship and I understood what she meant.  I also realized that I don't open up very quickly, because I don't feel safe to.  An example is that I can plan some huge activity for the midsingles and feel confidant people will come.  However, if I think of planning a game night with friends, I sit and worry that no one would come.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to build up the courage to text someone, what is that about?!  It's a text!  Another weird side to this is that I can call up anyone and ask them to do a fireside or present at a conference, but if I have to call someone I know to do one of those things, it takes me ten years to decide I can actually do it!  So backwards!  Anyways, that's my venting for the day, now that that's off my shoulders, I can stop feeling like a dork for a dumb text tonight :)

My conference is over and now my young women leadership meeting is over, so now I can think again.  I have to say that my brain struggled changing from being MidSingles oriented to being Young Women oriented.  I actually was wondering what in the world was wrong with me, and kept praying for direction on what I should do for the leadership meeting, and it didn't come until yesterday.  I guess that's the way it works.  I procrastinate, but eventually it works out.

I don't remember what I posted prior to the conference, about the conference, so I hope I don't bore you with stuff I've already said.

There were moments in the planning of the conference that I questioned what I was doing and why; whether I was being directed in the right direction or if it was just me.  You all know those doubts that creep up.  It was so inspiring and amazing to see how everything pulled together, and be able to see that we really were being guided in what we had planned. 

The friday night activity was going to be night games, but the weather didn't cooperate, it was way too cold.  We ended up doing games inside, though, and it was way fun!  Not all people participated, but it was fun for the ones that did. 

Saturday was full of workshops, service projects, games, a keynote speaker in the morning, food, a Greg Simpson Band concert and a dance with karaoke, video games and a photobooth.  It was awesome!  Elder Fluhman of the Seventy was our keynote speaker.  When I had told Cyd about him, she said that I needed to have his wife speak, as well, because she is a great lady.  I didn't know about doing that, since I hadn't had any contact with him, but I thought it was a great idea.  Well, that morning he walked in, was introduced to me, and said, "Now, Pyper, my wife is here, and I think you need to have her share something."  It was so cool!  She said she'd be fine just listening, but ended up sharing some stuff.  It was great!

The workshops that I got to attend were amazing, and exactly what I felt they should be, when I asked these people to do it.  My stake is great!  I may have mentioned this before, and maybe I'm biased, but we had Louise Sill and Pres. Downs come and present, and I heard comments all day about how their messages had inspired people.  My favorite quote from Louise was that the scriptures always say, "And it came to pass..." they don't say, "And it came to stay..."  It's so true!  All of our trials and struggles come, but they pass, unless we dwell on them.  Then, they won't pass as quickly as they may have.  Our lunch was provided by a guy in our stake, and then the deejay was from our stake.  I sure hope that the stake isn't tired of helping me out, because I already have people in mind for the next time :)

On Sunday night, S. Michael Wilcox did our fireside.  It was amazing!  I have always loved the story of Jesus walking on the water, and coming to save the apostles in the fourth watch of the night.  (http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/6?lang=eng).  That's how He is, He could save us at the beginning of our trials, but he doesn't.  He comes in when we feel we can no longer handle it.  Bro. Wilcox said we have a fourth watch God, and we're a first watch kind of people.  It's so true!  At the beginning of the fireside, we had the choir sing Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer, arranged to the melody of Homeward Bound.  I have always loved Homeward Bound, however, I have not loved the hymn book arrangement of Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer.  Oh, my word, it was beautiful!  The choir number was a stress for us for quite sometime, but then it just worked out, and I'm so thankful for those that were able to pull it together.  Bro. Wilcox said that there are many songs that remind him of his wife, but there are three specific songs that make him feel her, everytime he hears one of them; and it just so happened that that was one of the songs.  People were close to the spirit when they picked that out.

On friday night, I was so tired, I was laughing uncontrollably.  It was so funny!  I don't think many of the midsingles, if any, have ever seen me like that.  Then, on Sunday during the closing song at the fireside, I just started bawling.  It was so funny, too!  I felt this huge weight lift off of my shoulders, that I hadn't even realized I was feeling. 

There were so many great experiences, even down to having lost my keys, and had many people looking for them.  Then, someone suggested we pray, and within 8 seconds (and I'm not even exaggerating) my keys were found, right where we'd already looked for them.  The turn out wasn't as huge as I was hoping for, hopefully, it will be better next time.  I do know without any doubt that all of those things were meant for someone, if not more than one, and that makes it all worth it!  I'm so grateful for all of the people that helped with everything.  I can't even put into words how grateful I am.  It was such a neat experience, and very educational.

In just over a week, the midsingles' conference I've been working on for the past four months will finally be here!  I'm so excited!  I keep worrying that I'm forgetting something, because I'm not too concerned about it, as long as people come.  As previously mentioned here, I've taken on a new calling, in addition to my calling in the stake young women presidency.

It's an awesome thing to be a part of.  I've had some great helpers in this huge endeavor.  I was so nervous terrified to announce to the committee heads that I had this really strong impression, along with the scripture that was to be the theme, that we needed to do a conference in the spring.  I hadn't had much to do with the planning of the one in the fall; I just came in towards the end of the planning and helped out with the finishing touches.  I was scared of their reaction, whether they would support me or not.  If I was more confident in myself, I'd probably be able to announce it in a way that they would just jump on board.  However I announced it, apparently pretty timid, they said they would do it; not that they were jumping for joy over it.  Some seemed way excited, and some I couldn't read.  Seeing that everyone has a full-time job, some have kids, some have school, some are just crazy busy, and we all have our own callings in our own wards and stakes, I've wanted to make this as easy for them as possible.  Apparently to the effect of making someone feel bad, even with my intents being to help out, it didn't.  (Have I mentioned that midsingles range from 31-45?  I am 31, so I'm a baby in the group, and haven't had all of the experience that some of these people have, so I'm learning as I go.)  I, also, have a fantastic high councillor that is so supportive and amazing!  I'm lucky getting to work with two amazing men, in my two positions, that have such strong testimonies in the gospel, that they will do all that is possible for any activity.  I email Bro. Grant twenty times a day, sometimes, depending on what's going on.  He's like an uncle to me; I have way more contact with him, than my real uncles.  I just have to say that I have an awesome stake!  So many people from our stake are helping out in Centerville with my conference, it's fantastic!  I'm so grateful for the individual phone calls, texts and chats that have taken place, to help give me direction and understanding of what I've needed to be doing.

In the process of planning this, I've discovered things about myself.  Some I'm glad I've found, some I hope I can change.  Prior to this, I never asked anyone to do anything.  If I had to ask something, like getting a reservation somewhere, I'd have Collin do it for me.  I've contacted so many people about doing workshops, firesides, concerts, cooking, etc.  Granted a lot of it has been via email, but that has still been a big step for me.  I've been in awe speaking with some of the people I've talked to, i.e. S. Michael Wilcox, even though he was my institute teacher once; and Virginia H. Pearce, daughter of Pres. Hinckley.  Just thinking that I was talking on the phone to a daughter of a prophet was so amazing to me. 

I wish I didn't come across as being a strong woman, not that there's anything wrong with being strong; I'd really like someone to take care of me, though.  The more strength I show, the more I wish I didn't.  I don't like being so independent, and I really don't like doing so much on my own.  If it comes to the point that I need to ask someone to help with something, my first concern is he (she) will think I'm ridiculous, because I can't handle something, or that what I need isn't nearly as important as whatever they're doing.  I worry that I come across as not caring about people or stand-offish, because I don't let myself get close to people.  It takes me a long time to get close, but once I am, I am forever.

I've found kind of a coping mechanism for me.  I'm all business, a lot of the time.  I just want to let go, and socialize; well, that's what I tell myself, but then when I'm in the situation that I can just socialize, I'm hoping for some task to come up, so I'll have a purpose, or I get out my phone.  It's not happening as much as it used to, but every once in a while it sneaks up.  I just have to say that sometimes it's lonely when you're in charge of something.

The other night we went to Get Air in Kaysville, and jumped on trampolines, and it was so much fun!  I had no concerns of needing to get to a task, I was comfortable and having a great time. 

Well, I think that's all of my ramblings, for now.  I wish I could always keep the perspective of everything's going to work out, and not to worry about things.  I'm really good at worrying, though.  I get it from Grandma Mamie!

Whatever the case, I know that the Lord has had His hand in the planning of this conference, and I hope that those that attend will feel that, and know that He knows each of them individually, and loves them.  He has great faith in them, because He knows what they can do, and He wants to see them reach their potential!

Akston...

I have a new nephew!  He was born on tuesday.  He's darling, and was cuddly when I last saw him.  He's been in NICU since wednesday morning early, so I've seen some pictures of him.  He looks a lot like his biggest brother.  The nurse that helped in the delivery, said she was trying to be all professional, but the second he came out, she was like,  "holy cow!  That's a little Collin!"  Way cute!  I'll post a picture later, gotta get little Ford off to school!

Really!?

So, I have two confessions:  1.  I secretly want to own a bakery.  2.  I secretly want to be a motivational speaker.  The first one is probably not that big of a secret, since I love baking, and any chance I get, I take advantage of it.  The second one, I would imagine is a secret and probably a surprise, seeing as how I don't do much talking as it is.  I rarely have chances to speak, and when I do, I stress for forever about it beforehand.  However, when I'm up there, and actually speaking, I find I quite enjoy it. 

So, I'm not going to go on about a business plan for owning a bakery, but I am going to discuss this motivational speaker idea.

This thought came to me sometime since Grandma died, so in the last 14 months.  I've observed midsingle women, and how they act, and just want to tell them how wonderful they really are, and give them a boost of self confidence. I want them to see how Heavenly Father sees them, and get past how they see themselves. I want to point out the things I see them doing, that aren't doing them any favors.  Now, in my circumstances, obviously I don't have the answers, at least I don't have the answers for me.  I'm not saying any of this, for people to feel sorry for me or to have people ask "what can I do to help you get married," that approach doesn't work and makes things worse.  Who wants to be a midsingle?  I want to be a wife and a mom more than anything in the world.  It's not my timing that matters, it's the Lord's timing that matters.

I have the opportunity to be a leader of an LDS midsingles organization.  Being the leader is challenging, fun and sometimes hard.  For whatever reason, people think they can come to me, and I'll have all of the answers to make their dating lives better.  Hello, I'm in the same circumstance, I don't have the answers, or I wouldn't be in the same circumstance.  It's made me feel inadequate, that I don't have any answers or suggestions for them. 

There are many situations and stories that I've been told, and I'm going to share some of them. I'm omitting any names to protect the innocent :)  I hope no one is offended by me sharing their stories.

There's the let's go get a frozen yogurt, because you're not worth me spending an extra $15 and actually taking you to dinner.

 

Picture Joe Jr. from While You Were Sleeping.  Ick!  Here is this guy that thinks he's pretty dang cool, not catching on at all that she's not interested, no matter what she says, he's still pretty certain there's something wonderful going on.

Another version of Joe Jr.:  "You know Pops would knock the rent down; I could move in with you."  Someone who says, "Let's go to the park first, and depending on how that goes, I might buy you dinner."
 

Then, there's the guy that talks your ear off for forever, and you can tell is missing a few things up stairs, and asks, "Aren't you going to ask me for my number?"  Hello!  If you want her to talk to you on the phone, ask for hers!  Then, followed up by telling her friends, unknown to him, that she's not his type, but would be great for networking, to introduce him to her cute roommates.

Then we have this guy, "You're pretty, but I'm not gonna lie, I don't like weight on anyone... Especially me."  Would you look at that guy?  Of course he's funny, but really?!

Then we have the guy with the Gaston complex!  Thinks he's everyone's gift, and loves going out with a different girl every night.  Hello, do you have any depth to you at all? 

Then we have Mr. Darcy.  Mr. Darcy appears to be the cream of the crop, a little stand offish to some, but a charmer when he wants.  He needs to humble himself, take the pride down a notch or two.  Remember the scene where he's telling Elizabeth he loves her; he loves her against his better judgement.  He just keeps rambling, digging himself into a deeper hole, wounding her pride (what little she had, in real life.  Not that the midsingles' version of Mr. Darcy is professing love to anyone, he just gives excuses.)

These are just a small portion of the stories I've heard or experienced. I don't know why I've been called to lead the midsingles, I do know that this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be, and hopefully, with time, obviously not my time, I'll know why, and have a better picture.  Until then, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.  Thanks for reading my rantings!



Comings and goings...

It's been a long time, again!  Life is so insanely crazy at times, and then on the off chance I have an evening without anything to do, I sit here going "What's up with me?  I should be doing something!" 

The holidays have come and gone, they went by quickly. 

The mid-singles combined choir did an amazing Christmas fireside!  I am so grateful to be a part of it!  A friend of mine ran it, and he did an amazing job!  I had no idea how big it was going to be, having it be the first one I've been a part of; but it was huge. There are so many amazingly talented people out there.  The Spirit was so strong through all of the songs and the talks, it just worked out perfectly.  I got to decorate the stage, and that was really fun!  People were amazing at loaning me their trees, garlands and white lights.  I even got a tree out of someone's (Vickie :)) front room.  It was a great experience!

I've been working out really hard since September 1st.  It's been a huge challenge!  The first week I thought I was going to die, LITERALLY!It was the worst experience, EVER!  My thoughts at the end of that week, were that if I felt anything like that on Monday, I'd be done; however, the second week got better, and I've stuck to it!  I have 10 1/2 weeks left that's paid for with my trainer, and hopefully, at the end of that, I'll be able to do it on my own and maintain.  The hardest part was changing from how I ate, which wasn't very much, but the wrong kinds of foods, to eating wheat and vegetables.  I've always hated vegetables, other than zucchini.  I'm still not a big fan, but I now eat more than zucchini- broccoli and mushrooms have become favorites!

At a fireside in October, I was sitting there, by myself, listening to the program, and had this impression that I was going to be "called" to lead this mid-singles group.  I, immediately, was like, NO WAY!  I so didn't want to.  I feel unqualified to do it.  However, it wasn't very many weeks until I was asked to lead them.  I officially began leading it two weeks ago, and still feel inadequate.  I'm amazed at how the way my mind has changed from being a participant, to having people's names pop into my head, and need to know how they're doing or what I can do to help them.  I'm pretty reserved, so it's getting me out of my comfort zone.  Sometimes, I let myself fall back into that area.  Like last night, I was totally fine, and then all of a sudden I had this overwhelming feeling of not fitting into this.  "Not fitting in," as in the sense of how an 8th grade girl feels, isn't what I mean.  I'd rather stick out in the crowd than be like everyone else.  It was just a weird experience, but that feeling doesn't happen as much as it used to, so hopefully, it won't happen anymore. 

Young Women's is keeping me busy, with ward conferences, New Beginnings and an upcoming Especially by Youth (instead of EFY).  We have some amazing kids that are going to teach workshops, hence the "by."

I just HAVE to say life is good and great things are happening!