It's an awesome thing to be a part of. I've had some great helpers in this huge endeavor. I was so
In the process of planning this, I've discovered things about myself. Some I'm glad I've found, some I hope I can change. Prior to this, I never asked anyone to do anything. If I had to ask something, like getting a reservation somewhere, I'd have Collin do it for me. I've contacted so many people about doing workshops, firesides, concerts, cooking, etc. Granted a lot of it has been via email, but that has still been a big step for me. I've been in awe speaking with some of the people I've talked to, i.e. S. Michael Wilcox, even though he was my institute teacher once; and Virginia H. Pearce, daughter of Pres. Hinckley. Just thinking that I was talking on the phone to a daughter of a prophet was so amazing to me.
I wish I didn't come across as being a strong woman, not that there's anything wrong with being strong; I'd really like someone to take care of me, though. The more strength I show, the more I wish I didn't. I don't like being so independent, and I really don't like doing so much on my own. If it comes to the point that I need to ask someone to help with something, my first concern is he (she) will think I'm ridiculous, because I can't handle something, or that what I need isn't nearly as important as whatever they're doing. I worry that I come across as not caring about people or stand-offish, because I don't let myself get close to people. It takes me a long time to get close, but once I am, I am forever.
I've found kind of a coping mechanism for me. I'm all business, a lot of the time. I just want to let go, and socialize; well, that's what I tell myself, but then when I'm in the situation that I can just socialize, I'm hoping for some task to come up, so I'll have a purpose, or I get out my phone. It's not happening as much as it used to, but every once in a while it sneaks up. I just have to say that sometimes it's lonely when you're in charge of something.
The other night we went to Get Air in Kaysville, and jumped on trampolines, and it was so much fun! I had no concerns of needing to get to a task, I was comfortable and having a great time.
Well, I think that's all of my ramblings, for now. I wish I could always keep the perspective of everything's going to work out, and not to worry about things. I'm really good at worrying, though. I get it from Grandma Mamie!
Whatever the case, I know that the Lord has had His hand in the planning of this conference, and I hope that those that attend will feel that, and know that He knows each of them individually, and loves them. He has great faith in them, because He knows what they can do, and He wants to see them reach their potential!


