Changes

The last few months have been full of pending changes and weird transitions. My emotions have been all over the place! One day I'd be so anxious for it to be done, and the next I'd be dreading it.

As you probably know I've been leading this group of MidSingles, ages 31-45, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for about 2 1/2 years. It has been an amazing period in my life full of great experiences and extremely trying experiences. All of which have made me into who I am today. I've been released from my job there, and I've had mixed feelings about it, but I know that it's time, and there's something new ahead for me. I just don't know what, and that is part of the mixed emotions.

The transition has been going from what I've been working on, to being merged into a new MidSingles ward, which is an answer to many prayers. I was out to dinner with a friend the other night, and we were talking about these transitions. He came from a different ward, and hadn't participated in my stuff before. He kept saying he didn't even know where I was coming from, and doesn't fully understand my emotions. I've been able to be involved with so many midsingles with various situations and backgrounds, that these transitions worry me for the ones that are feeling left out.

I've had a lot of time to reflect on things that have happened over the last few years, and I'm thankful for that. Between two Sundays I saw every guy I've dated in the last three years. Weird! Through that I was able to reflect on the changes that I'd gone through because of them. I found myself being grateful for all the experiences. Even though they didn't all bring positive changes with them, I'm grateful for the experiences.

Anyways, I'm grateful for all I've learned and the many wonderful people I've gotten to know! Looking forward to what's ahead! I'm sure it won't be easy, but it'll be a ride!

"Do You Talk as a Rule While Dancing?"

Anyone know what movie that line is from?!  It happens to be the show that I watch when I'm sick.  I don't know why, maybe it's the relaxing colors, the beautiful music, the handsome Mr. Darcy (as in from the movie, not from past posts :))

I was at a dance on Saturday night, and this line kept popping up in my head.  I've never been a fan of dances.  While watching people dancing, I thought to myself that I wish I knew how to dance like that, (you know the real dancing, not the jogging in certain shapes and thinking you're dancing), but then I thought, do I really?  Not so much!  I mean it would be fun, to be able to do something awesome while at a dance, but there are just some things that are way uncomfortable to me. 

I remember going to dances during jr. high and high school, not like the date dances, because obviously that wouldn't have the awkwardness, because you came together, but the other dances or stake dances, and just finding them really awkward.  Did you have to talk the whole time or could you just dance?  No one seemed to know what to do. Well, that's sort of the same thing now!

On Saturday, I was dancing with one of my friends, and we both mentioned how we felt awkward in this sort of setting, and I said, "Hey, at least we can be awkward together."  We continued to talk and dance, and it was quite enjoyable!

Then there was someone that asked me to dance, we have an uncomfortable past, and he kept talking.  I was right back there in jr. high, when I'd be dancing with someone I was uncomfortable with, and the whole song I kept thinking to myself... "let's not talk, let's not talk, when's this song going to be over?" 

So, I'd say yes to talking, just as long as you're smart about who you're dancing with :)

Much needed weekend!

This has been one of the best weekends in a long time!  I've been so busy with so much, that I've been getting too caught up in just doing and not enjoying.  Today I was visit teaching, and the lady I was visiting mentioned a BYU podcast she'd listened to the other day that was something about living in survival mode is not living.  I think that's where I've been sitting at for a while.

Friday I went to some friends' wedding, and then, instead of rushing back to whatever I had to do, I went out to dinner with some friends and just enjoyed the evening.  I so needed that!

Then, yesterday, I went to the boy's soccer games and just got to play with them.  I love thoselittle guys so much!  Then last night I went to the Real game with my mom, our Real friends, and a friend of mine.  It was so much fun!  It was freezing, but so much fun! 

Much needed great weekend!  Maybe I'll be ready for the crazy week ahead, now!  Thanks to all that made it great!

stuff...

You know that I like to share some of the excitement going on in the LDS Mid-Singles world.  I've been lucky enough to be included in some monumental moments in people's lives.  I'm so grateful for the chances I've had to get to know so many people and serve with them, and get to know them so well.  I will forever be thankful for the opportunities that being the chair person for this mid-singles program has given me.  Congrats to everyone that's getting married or has gotten married in the past month and those graduating!  You're all amazing!

Life is always full of entertainment, stress, and fun!  I've been working this part-time job, that is SO FREAKIN' EARLY in the morning that I about die of tiredness mid-afternoon, and if I don't get a short nap, I get a second wind and a third wind to keep going as late as I need to go, but things seem harder or more stressful or more funny then they really are.  I'm in a nearly constant state of being on an emotional roller coaster, where I'm laughing because I'm so tired or I'm crying because I'm so tired.  Part of this tiredness, is that people are always asking me if I'm okay.  It drives me nuts!  Do I look that bad?  I will be feeling like I look presentable, and then 3 or 4 people will mention how tired I look or tell me not to worry, I'll be able to relax in such and such time.  It does wonders for your self esteem ;)

The other night we had an activity, and this guy had my put eye drops in his eye, because he'd never done it before.  Oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard!  As he flinched as the drops landed in his eye, I jumped, because it startled me.  So weird! 

Remember when I was the wingman in a proposal?  They got married today!  That's another story, though.  So, I thought I was done being a wingman, but as I was chatting with this guy, thinking how fun this conversation was, he says, "We should be each other's wingman."  As I mentioned, I'm tired all of the time, and I heard him, but it took a couple seconds for me to realize what he said.  So, my question is:  What exactly does a girl do as a wingman?  He said he'd watch out for me, and protect me from the creepers, when he's around.  He said I could warn him about any crazy girls.  I guess it's a good program, but it caught me off guard, and I don't want to be a wingman.  There have been a few times since that I thought it would be great to have him there to block me from creepers staring at me.  Maybe since he wants to be my wingman, he could set me up with his friends or something.  Interesting thought!

Well, those are the rantings of this tired girl!

Really?!, again!

I've been super chatty on here lately, don't know why, but sometimes you just gotta get it off your shoulders and move on.  Well, I do know what got my juices flowing.  I went out to breakfast with one of my good friends last weekend, and we have a lot of similar ideas.  She has worked with a mid-singles program down south, and so we got together to discuss new ideas, new needs, things to jump start people into progressing.

My mind has wandered over some of the things we talked about, the needs we see.  I, apparently, am one that people like to delve their secrets to.  I'm not going to give away any of their secrets, or mention any names, because they trust me, and I wouldn't ever want to lose their trust.  However, I may discuss, in general some of these things.

I've mentioned before how people like to tell me their dating problems, and want me to give suggestions, and help them out.  I must have some kind of sign that says "Relationship Coach Here" with an arrow pointing at me.  In the beginning, I would hear tons of things from women.  I now hear it from both sides, and it's weird. 

On a side note:  I do not agree with the women that bash on men, treat them poorly, or baby them the whole time.  I believe men have an amazing potential, and if they're going to ever live up to that potential they need to be treated with respect.  There's nothing more annoying than seeing a wife putting down her husband, treating him like he's an idiot, etc.  It makes me want to... well, to be honest, I think they need a swift kick in the rear.  Being a single, LDS woman, living where the norm is to get married at 18, and being 32, I think to myself that these women have NO freaking idea how lucky they are!  I know there are things that the whole world doesn't get to see in your relationship, but the whole world shoudn't have to hear and see you treating your husband like he's an idiot.  However, MEN, grow up!  Not all men, as I've previously mentioned, there are a great many men out there that are amazing!  Okay... done with that ranting!

Okay, back to the story.  I have people that confide in me inner secrets that a) if they're telling me, they better be thinking we're more than mere "acquaintances", b) I question why, what drives them to inform me (especially when they're big, and I can't be telling others to relieve that weight), and they don't seem to think we have any sort of relationship (relationship, not as in love, but relationship as in trust, friends, able to talk), and c) if they expect me to be able to hear all of it, and live forever knowing it, then they sure as heck better step up and be willing to help me when I ask them a favor or listen to me when I need to vent.

In the fall, I was told something that weighed me down, immensely!  I couldn't sleep that night, because I was so stressed about it.  My TMJ was insane for like the next week, granted there were other stresses that week, but that was a major part of it all.  In fact, since then, generally any conversation with Mr. D, we'll call him, leads to me rubbing my face and taking 6 aspirin.  I've considered Mr. D a good friend, for quite some time, and when we have disagreements, I find myself not sleeping.  Why?  I couldn't tell you!  I know that we're not ever going to be more than the person that he feels comfortable confiding in, and then not talking to for weeks.  It's selfish! 

This is leading me to the pet peeve of the moment... Communication or lack thereof!  I, personally, know that I need to work on improving my communication skills.  You can read about my communication insecurities here.  (It won't let me link you directly to that exact post, but it was a couple days ago.)  Anyways, I think that people don't know how to communicate well.  I think that texting, emailing, facebooking, etc. have all made people not know how to communicate.  A few months ago, a neighbor was over, and he was talking about how his brother works late hours, because then he doesn't have to be communicating with his significant other, because unless he's talking about himself, he doesn't know how to do it.  I for one would much rather text or email than call.  Calling terrifies me, pretty sure I've mentioned that before :)

I was riding home from Salt Lake with a guy, and he was great to talk to... IF... we were discussing him, his work, his family... anything else was so uncomfortable.  Then, again, there are the dates that you feel like you're on a job interview... 20 Questions is only fun, if they're not being fired at you one after the other, after the other.  Ask a question, let her answer, then answer it for yourself.  There is one guy I went out with a couple times, other than him knowing that I love ReAL, which he could've known from facebook, as well.  I don't think he could tell you one thing he learned about me, that he couldn't have learned by checking facebook or watching my interactions when I'm in front of everyone.  We went to a concert in Salt Lake, and the entire ride down, I said maybe two sentences, other than "uh-huh..." or "that's funny."  On the way home, I said "uh-huh" three times, THREE!

Then there is the girl that thinks she is being funny, by saying with a laugh how stupid someone is.  It's not nice.  You know things might not be as they seem, there, either, but putting someone down never makes you look good.

Then there's the person that's a "friend" that knows the ways to break down my walls.  He can tell they're up, and he knows the words to say to break them down, until I'm completely exposed, and then pulls a zinger out!  Really?!  What's the purpose?

Anyways, I'm going to be working on my communication skills!

Friend, Unfriend or Acquaintance list... What to do?!

So, this has been something on my mind lately.  I know that Facebook has it available for you to put people on lists, and then you can pick what each list can see or not see.  Well, who the heck has time for all of that!  A couple of years ago, I had about 800 friends on there, and figured I didn't talk to the majority of them, and I didn't really care about what they were eating, or what gym they were at, etc. so I deleted everyone that I hadn't physically seen or had contact with (more than accepting the friendship on there), and got it down to mainly family, some great friends from school, and church friends. 

Well, as I've met more people and become friends with more people my list has grown.  There are so many on the list that I still don't really know what's going on in their lives, and don't have time to Facebook stalk, like some people do, unless I can't sleep, then I like looking at pictures and stuff.  When meeting new men, I always tell them to friend me on Facebook before I'll ever give them my phone number.  That way I can see what they're up to, and if I'm not interested, I'll add them to the "Acquaintance" list, that way they're my "friend," but they don't see everything I post, and I feel safer.  There's nothing like going on a first date, and not being able to share anything about myself, because they've been stalking my Facebook page.  Like saying, "I was in New York in 2008.." and they say, "Oh, yeah, I know, I saw it on Facebook.  Hey, I needed to know something to talk to you about," and that 's as far as it goes.  Nothing like being cut off on something that you're actually interested in, and returning to the topic of the video game they've been playing for the last few months. 

So, what are the things that make you decide to unfriend or acquaintance list someone?  Sometimes it's too many posts, or I mark them so it will just let me see their important stuff.  Usually, I unfriend someone if their posts are offensive, have too many icky topics or words, or if they are attacking my beliefs and values.  You can have your own beliefs and values, but don't be knocking mine, I don't knock yours.  Not that they've been personally attacking, I just get sick of reading that kind of stuff, so I delete them.  Besides those things I usually don't unfriend people.  I have when my heart's been broken, and seeing the posts and pictures relating to that situation make me sick.  It's like throwing it in my face, and I don't love that!  I love having the abilitiy to "hide" certain posts, however to "hide" the post, I have to already have seen it, but there are times when it just has to be done with! 

It's a strange feeling when I realize that I've been "unfriended."  I only know of a few times, and that's only because I noticed on an event page, and they always list your friends at the top of the list, and then the ones that are no longer your friends are listed right under them, and then the people that you haven't been friends with.  I only know this, because I create so many events, that I've studied it :)

Anyways... those are my rantings for today.  Have a good one!

New Year, New You!

It's that time of year, where you look back at all that has gone on, and you can see all the ways you've been blessed.  You can see where you've struggled, and decide on things you want to change.

I don't make New Year Resolutions.  I, generally, have time to sit and contemplate the things I want to change at Snowbird.  There's something about being up there, at the end of summer, out in the beautiful mountains, where you can feel closer to Heavenly Father than you do in the crazy, busy-ness that goes on down in the valley.  That being said, I'm not going to post any goals or resolutions, but I want to share some things I'm grateful for.

I have to say that the last year has been amazing in many ways!  Amazing in good ways and amazing in bad ways.  I feel like I've been being a downer for the last while, and I don't like that I've become that way, so I'm working on fixing that (I think I may have stated a resolution ;)). 

I've been serving in the LDS Mid-Singles program in Davis County for nearly a year.  For those that don't know, midsingles are singles in many various circumstances from divorced, widowed, and unmarrieds between the ages of 31-45 years old.  I've probably said this before, but I would never have imagined me being a leader like this.  When I started showing up for the weekly religion classes about 19 months ago, my plan was to attend the class, because I needed the spiritual uplift and get out of there.  I was shy and nervous, and didn't want to be noticed.  Then one day someone noticed me, and welcomed me in, and it felt right, so I stuck to it.  Through this program I have met a lot of amazing people that I have grown to love!  I've also learned many, many things!  Some things I sort of wish I hadn't, but oh, well!  Overall, I can't believe I'm the same person that walked in there not that long ago!  I've been able to step out of my comfort zone, that had me sitting on the back row, by the door, with my phone in hand, so I could escape, to being in front of many, many people and feeling completely comfortable.  I'm not saying that I'm always completely comfortable, but it's been amazing, because I have moments where I'm nervous and shy, but I just have to put on that "leader persona" and I can walk up there and do what needs to be done, and the nervousness and shyness dissipate.  I'm grateful for that!  I'm grateful for the wonderful people I've been able to associate with!  I'm still in shock to think that I accompanied Emmy nominated violinist, Jenny Oaks Baker.  It was thrilling!  Terrifying, but thrilling! 

I'm so grateful for a loving and supportive family!  I don't know what I would do without my mom, my brother, sister-in-law and their kids, and the support I can feel from my dad!  I'm thankful for all of my nephews and niece!  I'm grateful for each of their own identities, with their personalities, talents and all that comes with them.  Ford is brilliant and beautiful and so talented, and knows so much!  I'm grateful for his testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!  Ev is the funniest kid I know.  He's really smart, and is an amazing, athletic boy! Ady is hilarious and darling and my little twin!  Akston has been a comfort to me these past few months, as I get to cuddle him and rock him to sleep.  I am blessed!

I'm grateful for the people I've been able to serve with in young womens.  I'm amazed at the strength of the youth in the stake!  There are so many that have amazing gifts, talents, and testimonies.  I've loved getting to know them and see them grow up. 

I'm grateful for the abilities I've been given!  Heavenly Father has blessed me in so many ways, and I'm so grateful!  I'm in awe, knowing that He knows me, and knows my needs, and loves me.  I'm amazed that I can receive answers to prayers, and that even when I don't like those answers, and I keep wanting different answers, that I still know when my prayers are answered.

I wanted to share this video , as the new year is upon us.  I hope you enjoy it and take advantage of the new beginning that we all have!

I have a secret...  I don't like the dating game.  I often wonder if it's as weird and hard for younger kids, in this day and age, as it is for mid-singles.  I know that when I was in highschool and college, dating was really enjoyable... of course there were funny, weird issues, but these days issues seems to be more frequent.

Actually, most of my dating experiences have been really good, I could say GREAT, in some cases!  The part I'm talking about being difficult is the in between time.  The "after the desicion to stop dating" or the time where you think someone might be into you, and you know you're interested, but the other person seems to have no idea that you are.  It's annoying! 

You sit there and weigh all of the different options... do you really want to stop dating?  If you've changed your mind, is it too late?  (Usually :))  How honest about your feelings should you be?  Do you take a risk?

Other things that are difficult... You see a guy that is obviously into your friend, but she's not seeming to notice.  Do you tell her?  Sometimes, I wish my friends would hint to the people I've been interested in, but of course there's a chance that would scare them away.  You see men being led on...  do you tell them?  This one is tricky, because a) guys think that it's jealousy, when I'm not, I just want to save them, or b) they just think I'm gossiping, and don't realize my intentions.

There you go!  I'm getting off my soapbox now!

It's November! October is over! With that being said, I can say that I'm trying really hard to be better, have a better attitude, and to serve more. I received a priesthood blessing a week and a half ago, and am feeling better. I'm so grateful for the blessings that come through prayer, and the priesthood. I'm thankful for the righteous priesthood holders in my life that can give me blessings when I'm in need.

Interested in what priesthood blessings are? Watch this example.

I am very grateful for the many opportunities that I've been given, and the people that I've met. To think of the changes, opportunities, and things I've learned over the last year and a half, I'm amazed!

TMJ stinks! There are two things that cause it to flair. One of them is if I eat something I shouldn't, like toffee (learned that since Halloween) or chew gum. The second is stress. I can't believe how dumb it is! It's amazing for me to see how people affect me, how I LET people affect me.  From someone not treating me the way they usually do or getting hit by a ton of strange comments on event pages or timing of responses to texts, etc...  My face hurts!  I sit here, holding my face, needing my neck rubbed, telling myself that I'm so dumb for letting myself get all tight like that.  So, I know what I need to work on, I just need to know tricks for getting myself out of the stress... haha!

It's almost election day.  I'm glad it's going to be here, and be done (hopefully), because I'm so sick to death of all of the commercials and all of the signs all over the place.  I'm scared for the outcome of the election.  I see people's posts on Facebook, and I get nervous!  I've seen the events of fasting and prayer in behalf of the election.  Events like that, or reading the Book of Mormon in said amount of time, I don't rsvp to, because I think that those things are very personal.  However, seeing the negative comments on such events, makes me sad.  People say that Heavenly Father wouldn't take part in politics, and that praying for such is wrong.  I disagree whole heartedly!  Heavenly Father will answer a prayer to help me find my keys, and that is such a miniscule thing in whole realm of existence, what makes anyone think he won't answer prayers in behalf of a nation.  Reading the Bible or the Book of Mormon, you can see the Lord's hand in ALL civilizations.  He didn't just send us here, to be on our own, although a lot of people think that, he sent us here to learn and grow and overcome trials and temptations.  He sent us with help, and that's for all of us individually and as a whole.

Okay, I'm off my soap box now!  Hope everyone is doing well!

October... So Not my Favorite!!!

Often people are so excited for October. The fresh, crisp air, the cooler temperatures, the changing colors, etc... Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all of that! However, October is full of sadness for me! I try to not to dwell on things, and keep going, because there's nothing else to do, but it's still there. People that haven't lost a loved one won't understand what I'm talking about, but the empty feeling is overwhelming at times. You don't really talk about it to "outsiders," because you don't want to make them uncomfortable, and you don't know how they feel about the subject. Some friends say it's totally fine, but then act kind of nervous when you're talking about it. That's totally fine, and I understand that. One day I got a message from a guy friend of mine that said, "one day you'll have to tell me about your dad..." It was the first time any guy has said anything like that, and only really close friends have ever asked about him. I was so impressed, because my dad is part of who I am, and sometimes I feel that not talking about him is denying his existence. I know it's not, but there are so many parts of me, that are because of him, that I think it will help people know me better. So, that being said, I try to not let it affect me, but it does. I'm the type of person that never wants to hurt anyone, so instead of saying anything, I just hold my feelings inside, until they burst! Well, the same thing happens with this hurt I feel inside. I hold it in, and don't talk about it much. I don't want to make my family hurt, so it's a subject that we are very careful about. We talk about him a lot, but on those actual days, we struggle to. Anyways, so that hurt stays inside, but tends to make me very tense, at times, and sometimes a little more fiesty than normal. I tend to get my feelings hurt more easily. This time around, I cry, I cry easily! So things that aren't such a big deal, and then other things that really are a big deal to me, I just cry. Not the best way to win friends and influence people :S. I'm not going to say that I hurt anybody, because I don't know that I have, but I do know I've made someone(s) mad at me. I'm sorry for that! I was reading Neal L. Anderson's talk "Trial of Your Faith", and see that the challenges for me aren't as big as many that others are going through. It created a self awareness that I needed to see. I love general conference! Let's just say, I'm really glad that October is nearly over! I hope that I'll get back to being my normal, happy self. I hope that I still have friends when it's done :)

August- Weekends Outdoors!

This has been a great month, so far! 

The first Saturday of the month, my friend, John, took me up American Fork Canyon, one of my most favorite places of all time!  We drove around, had a picnic, did a little hiking and took fun photos.  It was beautiful!  I loved every minute of it!

The next Saturday we had a Canoeing at Causey MidSingles activity.  The water levels were really low.  There were about 20 people total, some came up later than others.  We had the perfect amount for the amount of canoes we rented. (Bottom two pics, courtesy of Jared :)) I was afraid to take a camera out on the water, with my luck, it would've ended up on the bottom of the lake!

I left Causey, got cleaned up, and headed to Snowbird, where we were for a week!

Great month!  This Saturday, I'm going to Moab, and the next weekend St. George!

The other night, I was out in the parking lot at church talking to one of my good friends, and one of the midsingles came over and talked to us.  She has a lot of challenges in her life, healthwise.  She was talking about all of the things her siblings have done, that she's not been able to, and said, "...but that's okay.  I'm waiting for the Second Coming, and then I'll be able to be perfect and do all of those things, but until then..."

What a fantastic outlook on life!  It was a great reminder!

Summer!

It's been a while, again!  Since my last post lots has gone on!  My computer died at Daughters of Faith, so that's one of the reasons I haven't blogged.  (This loaner computer stinks, and sometimes doesn't read the keystroke, but sometimes doubles the keystroke, so I'll try to make sure I spell check, but forgive me if there are mistakes.)

So, I'm going to write by month what has gone on...

June

Months ago I emailed Jenny Oaks Baker to see if she could do a fireside for the midsingles.  I never heard from her, so I didn't think anything of it.  For whatever reason, I've branched out and am able to ask people I don't know to do devotionals; I still feel funny asking people I know to do things.  So, on May 30, I got an email back from her saying she'd be able to do it either on June 24 or on August 26.  I already had one scheduled for August, so we went with June.  She was really concerned that she was spreading herself too thin, and not enough people would attend.  Here's a link to her "Amazing Grace" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uQIPFc-8jw.  Listen through her talk, you'll love the music, and her message on faith is fantastic!

She called me two days later and said that she couldn't do it that day anymore, because her accompanist wasn't going to be in town until July.  Before I could even think, out of my mouth popped, "Well, I can do it!  I am a piano teacher."  Her first question was, "You're a piano teacher, but can you actually play anything or are you one of THOSE teachers?"  I told her I could pretty much play anything, and she said, "Okay, I'll send you some music soon," and that was that.  After getting off the phone, I was like, "What the heck did I just say?"

I know that I've worked really hard, nearly my entire life, to play the piano.  I had a fantastic teacher that taught me so much, and loved me, and that made me all the better.  However, I have to acknowledge that my sight reading abilities are a true gift from Heavenly Father.  Had I not practiced all that I have, I wouldn't have known of that gift, and I am so grateful for it!

She sent me most of the music, and it was a challenge!  I practiced and practiced and practiced.  My mom at one point said, "You know there is such thing as practicing TOO much."  I practiced at home, I practiced at the church, etc. and then went to Daughters of Faith four days before.

DOF is a camp just for laurels (young women 16-18 years old).  It's an amazing two days of total devotion to feeling the Spirit and learning the gospel.  Not unlike years passed, it was amazing!  I didn't get to participate in a lot of the things, because I had to put together the slideshow, and that took FOREVER! Then we had this really neat activity that talked about the journey of the golden plates from Nephi to Moroni to Joseph Smith and then to us.  It was amazing!  Then I showed this short message  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHY-Y9yraR8.  It's so touching!  Elder Holland is amazing!  Then, I unplugged the projector from my computer, and my computer fried!  So horrendous!  So, the next day, I had to spend the whole day doing another slideshow on someone else's computer.  I only broke down twice about this, so I think I was alright!  Cute Cassie kept checking on me!  She was great!

When I got home, I got to practicing, and Jenny and I set up a time to practice on Saturday at 11:30.  She was busy teaching at a Suzuki camp, and we had a half hour to practice seven songs!  In my mind, I kept thinking about musicians and artists and what kind of people they are, but then I was thinking who she was a daughter of, and I figured I'd get a mix of the two.  Well, let's just say, it was a terrifying next 32 hours!  We didn't ever get to go through a whole song without stopping for some interruption, and we didn't play through the last song, which I had just gotten all of it that day.  We set up a run through time for Sunday, and that was that.  Sunday came, and it was one of the busiest days of my life!  Thank heavens for those girls and guys that came to help set up, and all the people that brought refreshments.  Jenny had emailed me in the morning asking for someone to tend her kids during the devotional, and to bump our time up by about 15 minutes.  My cute cousin, Ashley, babysat the kids, and I was ready to practice when she wanted.  She called a minute before it was time, and said she was going to be late, and that we wouldn't have time to practice.  She thought we'd be fine, though.  This was pretty stressful to me, but showed she had confidence in me, so that helped me out.

Her message was about having faith.  It was interesting, because as she ws sharing certain scriptures, my mom was giving me the look of "you should be listening, this will help you out."  She knew how scared I was!  She talked about how watching one of her friends having a baby and getting married and having an awesome job made her think, "Hey, I'm following the commandments, why aren't these things happening for me?"  Let's just say it hit really close to home!  I only had a couple mistakes, one that was quite big, and she gave me a look, but other than that, I felt really good about it.  I gave the guy conducting the program, and didn't have me on it, because I didn't want it to be about me.  I was accompanying, and that was it.  In her introduction, she announced, "Pyper Nicholes and I are going to perform for you tonight."  It was really amazing!  I had some great support there, Mom, Grandma JaNae, Bart, Jen, Linds, her roommate, Ashley, and Amy and her parents.  It was amazing!  At the end, I was so touched, because not only was there a huge line to meet her, there was  a line to talk to me.

If you're still reading... we're to July!!!

Well, sort of... On June 30, one of my most favorite people threw me a birthday party!  It was so much fun!  Amy was still in town, and I was thrilled she was here!  Her dad brought his karaoke stuff, and we ate, played games, visited, and sang karaoke.  It was a great night!  There was a funny mix of people, from work, my neighborhood, my family and my midsingles.  It was fantastic!

I turned 32 on July 4th.  It was a great day!  It's so weird to think my dad was my age when he passed away.  On july 11th, I was exactly the same age, and it may sound morbid, but that day has been in my mind for a very long time.  I was thinking that there was something wrong with me, in thinking that if I made it past July 11th, I'd be fine.  Reading that right now, makes me feel like the biggest dork!  However, a few days ago, Collin had a scare that ended up being that he was dehydrated, but he immediately said to mom that he knew she was worried, because he was 29, and dad was 29 when his heart stuff started.  My heart broke for him that he was scared about it, but I know that I am not alone in my weird concerns.

July was filled with lots of busy-ness, lots of family, lots of friends, and pretty much a great time!  I have one huge complaint, and that is with PC Laptops!  They claim to have great service, and great products.  They do have great warranties.  However, there service stinks!  I bought my laptop in November from them, and have never been as satisfied as I was with my hp laptop, but I've been fine with it.  When it died at DOF, I took it in, and they told me it would be 4-6 days, 9 days later, I called, after I had called since day number 5, and they said it was just sitting there waiting for me.  I was thrilled to have it back.  I got it home, and there was no sound, so I took it back in on Monday, and they had it for a few days, then said I could have it back again, so I could show the slideshow at the DOF fireside, but needed to have it back on Monday, and they'd give me a loaner computer, and it worked only with external speakers.  I was sick that Monday, so I took it in on Tuesday.  I stood there for 25 minutes, because the guy that usually helps me was helping someone else, and no one wanted to help me.  I finally asked them to at least start the paperwork, and so the guy took my laptop, but didn't give me the loaner one.  Then, Sterling, the guy that is working on my computer finally came over and told me the loaner wasn't going to be there for a couple days, and he'd call me.  He never did!  I kept calling, and they never said it was there.  The next Friday, so a week later, my computer died, again!  So, I took it in, and Sterling acted put out that I was in a hurry to leave, because he had stuff to do, but I had not ever been told the loaner was there, so I didn't know we were doing a data transfer.  When I was leaving, I said, "Now you're really going to call me when my computer is ready, right?"  He said of course he would.  I responded with, "Well, you keep saying that, but not once have you or anyone else here ever called me to tell me anything or return any of my phone calls."  He apologized, and said he'd call me in 10 days when it was ready.  Well as of today, it has been 14 days, and still no phone call!!!  The final diagnosis for the computer was a fried hard drive, partially fried motherboard, and fried internal speakers.  They had said they hadn't seen anything like it before.

We had girls camp the last week of July, and it was a great experience for the girls!  I wish I was of more use up there.  They didn't really have our presidency do anything, other than one activity on the last day.

We had a three hour block, where each ward and our presidency had a tent, and we'd do 20 minute rotations, working on a value in Personal Progress (https://www.lds.org/young-women/personal-progress?lang=eng).  Our presidency had the value of Virtue.  There aren't a lot of things you can do in 20 minutes for Virtue, but we had a great time!  Cyd had found an activity that young women had a glow in the dark bow on their backs, and they had to run through the dark, through some obstacles, keeping the bow (which represented their virtue) and make it to the end, where there was a picture of the temple.

Since it was daylight, and we were outside, we had to alter the plan.  We played flag football.  We had three girls with gold flags in their pocket, race to get up the hill to the picture of the temple, while Mom, Cyd and I tried to steal their "virtue."  It was really fun!  Then I had the girls take a piece of unwrapped candy, which looked like it was going to be sweet, but really was a warhead, and talked about how Satan impersonates the Spirit and ways to develop strengths that will help you discern where the impressions are coming from.  Cyd gave them Treasures that were chocolate with caramel or peanut butter in it, and talked about how our virtue is our treasure.  Mom went through their Virtue  project #3 that has them read Alma 5 (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/5?lang=eng#)  It was such a great experience!  It was really fun for them to get to know us on a different level, than just sitting in the meetings with them.

Let's just say this summer has been great, and it's not over yet!  I've been learning lots and enjoying lots of things and people!

Lessons...

I don't know that I ever mentioned this before, but  a neighbor and good friend of ours passed away on April 20th.  He helped us so much!  He was always looking out for Mom, and making sure she had everything taken care of.  One day we came home and had a new mailbox.  When our bathroom was fixed for us, while we were gone, we came home to new lighting in the bathroom and the garage.  He couldn't believe that two single women would come home, without having any light on in the garage.  The other night the lightbulb on the garage door opener died, and everytime I'm out there, I think about Scott and that he's probably put out with us letting it stay that way. 

The night before he passed away, he called me and said he was someone from the Jehovah's Witnesses and that they'd been observing me, etc...  Then he said, "Just kidding, it's Scott..." and went on about how he wanted to be a good piano dad, so could I please explain somethings to him.  So, as he asked me questions about symbols, he'd play them to see if he got it right, so he could help his son.  I have to say that this is the first time, ever, that a dad had gotten so involved with his kids piano lessons. 

The next morning, there were things going on down the street, and I knew something was up, but had no idea it would be that.  I was kind of in denial, because it seemed totally impossible.  It was really strange, and too familiar!  His oldest is just younger than I was when my dad died, his daughter is how old Collin was, and then they have a baby, that just turned one last month.  His wife was teaching part time, my mom was teaching part time.  His wife was in the relief society presidency, my mom was in the relief society presidency.  Our neighbor across the street was over at their house, she was over at the house next door, where I was when we found out about dad.  Just too familiar! 

I found myself being grateful that I knew what they were going to go through, so I could help them through it.  Had I been in different circumstances, maybe having a family of my own, and not living around here, I wouldn't be able to help them.  I'm really glad that I was already teaching their oldest, so we had a relationship already, because he feels comfortable with me already.  His first lesson after his dad died, he told me he'd be really good at this part, because his dad made him practice a ton.  Then, he did really well, and he said, "It's like someone is helping me, but no one is."  That's the kind of gift you get from your deceased relatives.  I know that Heavenly Father lets them help us.

Another lesson I've learned through the example of someone I admire and appreciate, is how I deserve to be treated.  Thank you!

I went to this fireside on dating about a month ago.  It was really funny, well, I thought it was funny!  It was all about the approach and ways for men to handle rejection, and still look like they have confidence, and for women to make sure they touch a guy they're interested in, in a certain way, no patting, you need to brush their arm with your palm, not just fingertips... stuff like that.  I was laughing at most of it!  It was really funny to see how these dumb things she was suggesting would actually work.  The whole reason I went, was because she had written an article that someone sent to me once about why he wasn't dating, and I wanted to see her in person.  Anyways, during the meeting people were acting like this information was life or death to them.  There were moments of awkwardness, when she said things not to do, that I know I've done, and that I'd even said some of these things, that I shouldn't have, according to her, and I'd said them to someone that was sitting pretty close in proximity to me.  I actually did reject someone the way she suggested to, once, and he was there, and wouldn't even look at me.  Can we say AWKWARD!?  After the fireside, while eating refreshments, people were practicing on each other.  It was hilarious!  She did say "to practice on your B list, not your A list," and people were taking advantage of the opportunity :)

Anyways, since then I've thought about some of the things she said, and I have to say I agree with her on some of the things.  She talked about how the girl needs to feel safe.  I hadn't ever really thought about that, probably dumb of me, but it never even crossed my mind that I hadn't felt safe with people.  I know I'm pretty shy, and I don't talk much when I first meet someone, but I just thought that was because I was shy.  (The funny thing is that whenever I'm in front of a crowd, like doing my midsingles things, I may get nervous, but it's my responsibility to lead, so I lead and talk and do whatever else is required of me.)  Well, I can tell you the day I realized I felt safe in this friendship/relationship and I understood what she meant.  I also realized that I don't open up very quickly, because I don't feel safe to.  An example is that I can plan some huge activity for the midsingles and feel confidant people will come.  However, if I think of planning a game night with friends, I sit and worry that no one would come.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to build up the courage to text someone, what is that about?!  It's a text!  Another weird side to this is that I can call up anyone and ask them to do a fireside or present at a conference, but if I have to call someone I know to do one of those things, it takes me ten years to decide I can actually do it!  So backwards!  Anyways, that's my venting for the day, now that that's off my shoulders, I can stop feeling like a dork for a dumb text tonight :)

My conference is over and now my young women leadership meeting is over, so now I can think again.  I have to say that my brain struggled changing from being MidSingles oriented to being Young Women oriented.  I actually was wondering what in the world was wrong with me, and kept praying for direction on what I should do for the leadership meeting, and it didn't come until yesterday.  I guess that's the way it works.  I procrastinate, but eventually it works out.

I don't remember what I posted prior to the conference, about the conference, so I hope I don't bore you with stuff I've already said.

There were moments in the planning of the conference that I questioned what I was doing and why; whether I was being directed in the right direction or if it was just me.  You all know those doubts that creep up.  It was so inspiring and amazing to see how everything pulled together, and be able to see that we really were being guided in what we had planned. 

The friday night activity was going to be night games, but the weather didn't cooperate, it was way too cold.  We ended up doing games inside, though, and it was way fun!  Not all people participated, but it was fun for the ones that did. 

Saturday was full of workshops, service projects, games, a keynote speaker in the morning, food, a Greg Simpson Band concert and a dance with karaoke, video games and a photobooth.  It was awesome!  Elder Fluhman of the Seventy was our keynote speaker.  When I had told Cyd about him, she said that I needed to have his wife speak, as well, because she is a great lady.  I didn't know about doing that, since I hadn't had any contact with him, but I thought it was a great idea.  Well, that morning he walked in, was introduced to me, and said, "Now, Pyper, my wife is here, and I think you need to have her share something."  It was so cool!  She said she'd be fine just listening, but ended up sharing some stuff.  It was great!

The workshops that I got to attend were amazing, and exactly what I felt they should be, when I asked these people to do it.  My stake is great!  I may have mentioned this before, and maybe I'm biased, but we had Louise Sill and Pres. Downs come and present, and I heard comments all day about how their messages had inspired people.  My favorite quote from Louise was that the scriptures always say, "And it came to pass..." they don't say, "And it came to stay..."  It's so true!  All of our trials and struggles come, but they pass, unless we dwell on them.  Then, they won't pass as quickly as they may have.  Our lunch was provided by a guy in our stake, and then the deejay was from our stake.  I sure hope that the stake isn't tired of helping me out, because I already have people in mind for the next time :)

On Sunday night, S. Michael Wilcox did our fireside.  It was amazing!  I have always loved the story of Jesus walking on the water, and coming to save the apostles in the fourth watch of the night.  (http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/6?lang=eng).  That's how He is, He could save us at the beginning of our trials, but he doesn't.  He comes in when we feel we can no longer handle it.  Bro. Wilcox said we have a fourth watch God, and we're a first watch kind of people.  It's so true!  At the beginning of the fireside, we had the choir sing Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer, arranged to the melody of Homeward Bound.  I have always loved Homeward Bound, however, I have not loved the hymn book arrangement of Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer.  Oh, my word, it was beautiful!  The choir number was a stress for us for quite sometime, but then it just worked out, and I'm so thankful for those that were able to pull it together.  Bro. Wilcox said that there are many songs that remind him of his wife, but there are three specific songs that make him feel her, everytime he hears one of them; and it just so happened that that was one of the songs.  People were close to the spirit when they picked that out.

On friday night, I was so tired, I was laughing uncontrollably.  It was so funny!  I don't think many of the midsingles, if any, have ever seen me like that.  Then, on Sunday during the closing song at the fireside, I just started bawling.  It was so funny, too!  I felt this huge weight lift off of my shoulders, that I hadn't even realized I was feeling. 

There were so many great experiences, even down to having lost my keys, and had many people looking for them.  Then, someone suggested we pray, and within 8 seconds (and I'm not even exaggerating) my keys were found, right where we'd already looked for them.  The turn out wasn't as huge as I was hoping for, hopefully, it will be better next time.  I do know without any doubt that all of those things were meant for someone, if not more than one, and that makes it all worth it!  I'm so grateful for all of the people that helped with everything.  I can't even put into words how grateful I am.  It was such a neat experience, and very educational.

Comings and goings...

It's been a long time, again!  Life is so insanely crazy at times, and then on the off chance I have an evening without anything to do, I sit here going "What's up with me?  I should be doing something!" 

The holidays have come and gone, they went by quickly. 

The mid-singles combined choir did an amazing Christmas fireside!  I am so grateful to be a part of it!  A friend of mine ran it, and he did an amazing job!  I had no idea how big it was going to be, having it be the first one I've been a part of; but it was huge. There are so many amazingly talented people out there.  The Spirit was so strong through all of the songs and the talks, it just worked out perfectly.  I got to decorate the stage, and that was really fun!  People were amazing at loaning me their trees, garlands and white lights.  I even got a tree out of someone's (Vickie :)) front room.  It was a great experience!

I've been working out really hard since September 1st.  It's been a huge challenge!  The first week I thought I was going to die, LITERALLY!It was the worst experience, EVER!  My thoughts at the end of that week, were that if I felt anything like that on Monday, I'd be done; however, the second week got better, and I've stuck to it!  I have 10 1/2 weeks left that's paid for with my trainer, and hopefully, at the end of that, I'll be able to do it on my own and maintain.  The hardest part was changing from how I ate, which wasn't very much, but the wrong kinds of foods, to eating wheat and vegetables.  I've always hated vegetables, other than zucchini.  I'm still not a big fan, but I now eat more than zucchini- broccoli and mushrooms have become favorites!

At a fireside in October, I was sitting there, by myself, listening to the program, and had this impression that I was going to be "called" to lead this mid-singles group.  I, immediately, was like, NO WAY!  I so didn't want to.  I feel unqualified to do it.  However, it wasn't very many weeks until I was asked to lead them.  I officially began leading it two weeks ago, and still feel inadequate.  I'm amazed at how the way my mind has changed from being a participant, to having people's names pop into my head, and need to know how they're doing or what I can do to help them.  I'm pretty reserved, so it's getting me out of my comfort zone.  Sometimes, I let myself fall back into that area.  Like last night, I was totally fine, and then all of a sudden I had this overwhelming feeling of not fitting into this.  "Not fitting in," as in the sense of how an 8th grade girl feels, isn't what I mean.  I'd rather stick out in the crowd than be like everyone else.  It was just a weird experience, but that feeling doesn't happen as much as it used to, so hopefully, it won't happen anymore. 

Young Women's is keeping me busy, with ward conferences, New Beginnings and an upcoming Especially by Youth (instead of EFY).  We have some amazing kids that are going to teach workshops, hence the "by."

I just HAVE to say life is good and great things are happening!