July!

It's my birthday this week! About a month ago I celebrated my "new" birthday.  It's been three years since my gall bladder was removed and my life was saved due to a handsome, young doctor that remembered something that had been done fifty years prior that he'd once seen in a book.  I have NO doubt that his remembering that was an answer to many, many prayers!  Well, as I've mentioned before, I am so grateful for being saved, and sometimes wonder why I was saved, what I'm supposed to be doing. 

For whatever reason the build up to this birthday has not been so fun.  I've been annoyed with not being at the place I always dreamed I'd be at, at this point.  However, at the same time, I'm extremely thankful for the opportunities that I've been given.

So, I have had no idea of what I wanted for my birthday.  Guess what I decided on... a bike!  It's been forever since I've ridden one!  I got one today.  It's small, and the guys at the store kept saying I needed a taller one.  I couldn't reach the ground on any taller ones.  So, I'm going to ride my little bike!

So, sometimes I'm amazed what people say to each other.  For example, people post whatever they have on their brains on Facebook, when they really wouldn't say that in real life.  Well, remember Mr. D from here, over time he's popped out with some amazing things, and I'm saying amazing, not in a good way.  Well, I've had the chance to hear from Mr. D., Jr.  Now, I'm not going to say he's anything like Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice, still a great guy though, but he is an awful lot like the Mr. D that I know.  These men are so concerned about where they are, that they're not getting married, that they're not meeting any women that are exactly 3 1/2 years younger than them (okay, so I'm exaggerating on the 3 1/2, but it's close), etc.  If they'd just let things happen, and not be so stressed about it, it would work out. Another thing, while relaxing and not getting so stressed about the above mentioned things, people really need to let go of what they have pictured for themselves, because the Lord may have something [or someone] way better than they're expecting prepared for them and their circumstances, whatever they may be.  Everyone has a past and everyone has issues, you need to let that other person in the "maybe relationship" have a say, whether they're able to deal with those issues or not, not just decide on your own.  It's a right that he's taken away from her or vice versa.  Another thing is that these Mr. D characters just talk and talk, not even aware that they're telling you all of these things that, although you were prepared to hear, may be affecting you personally!  Sort of like you don't matter, and I guess you don't.  So weird!

I've decided that besides all of the obvious reasons why being married, as man and wife, is important and should be happening, is the communication that being on your own lacks.  Men and women think so differently, and that is such a blessing in so many ways!  As a couple, you can discuss anything and everything, and you can let each other know when you're stepping out of reality.

For example, I'm a prime example of this!  I go on a date, it's super fun, then I don't hear anything from him for a week or so.  At first, I'm totally fine with that.  By that week mark/ week and a half mark, I have totally convinced myself that I've ruined everything, and I'm second guessing every little thing I remember saying or that I did something wrong or said something that could've possibly been read wrong, etc.  So, I'm a mess by this point!  Then I finally have to talk it out with someone, obviously not the person I should actually be talking it all out with, because apparently he hates me at this point :)  See... Craziness!!!  However, talking it out, I realize that yes, I've gone a little overboard, and need to relax.  See, they're concerned and scared, and so are we.  I think this dating stuff stinks at this stage of the game.  It's hard!  I so wish people would not read too much into things, and over think things, and just have faith.  I don't know why it's so hard, but it is definitely hard!

I think the same thing applies in many other situations, how you feel about work, how you feel about church, how you feel about your family.  If you have these inner discussions with yourself for too long without feedback from someone that's distanced from the situation, you're going to get stuck in a rut you don't want to be in.  If you're not happy with an aspect in your life, pray about it.  Pray long, and hard, and be hopeful, and keep moving!

Wow!  That was quite the tangent!  I've just been around so many different situations lately. Some have been things involving me, some are things that I get to hear about, since people like to share these kinds of stories with me!  My heart just hurts at times for these great people that are struggling!

Anyways!  I have six hours of work, 3 hours of piano, and then I'm off for the rest of the week!  I'm thrilled!  Hope everyone has a great 4th!  I'm proud to be an American, even though my heart is breaking for some of the changes and struggles that our country is facing!  I'm grateful for the freedoms that we have, and those men and women that fight and have fought for that freedom!

stuff...

You know that I like to share some of the excitement going on in the LDS Mid-Singles world.  I've been lucky enough to be included in some monumental moments in people's lives.  I'm so grateful for the chances I've had to get to know so many people and serve with them, and get to know them so well.  I will forever be thankful for the opportunities that being the chair person for this mid-singles program has given me.  Congrats to everyone that's getting married or has gotten married in the past month and those graduating!  You're all amazing!

Life is always full of entertainment, stress, and fun!  I've been working this part-time job, that is SO FREAKIN' EARLY in the morning that I about die of tiredness mid-afternoon, and if I don't get a short nap, I get a second wind and a third wind to keep going as late as I need to go, but things seem harder or more stressful or more funny then they really are.  I'm in a nearly constant state of being on an emotional roller coaster, where I'm laughing because I'm so tired or I'm crying because I'm so tired.  Part of this tiredness, is that people are always asking me if I'm okay.  It drives me nuts!  Do I look that bad?  I will be feeling like I look presentable, and then 3 or 4 people will mention how tired I look or tell me not to worry, I'll be able to relax in such and such time.  It does wonders for your self esteem ;)

The other night we had an activity, and this guy had my put eye drops in his eye, because he'd never done it before.  Oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard!  As he flinched as the drops landed in his eye, I jumped, because it startled me.  So weird! 

Remember when I was the wingman in a proposal?  They got married today!  That's another story, though.  So, I thought I was done being a wingman, but as I was chatting with this guy, thinking how fun this conversation was, he says, "We should be each other's wingman."  As I mentioned, I'm tired all of the time, and I heard him, but it took a couple seconds for me to realize what he said.  So, my question is:  What exactly does a girl do as a wingman?  He said he'd watch out for me, and protect me from the creepers, when he's around.  He said I could warn him about any crazy girls.  I guess it's a good program, but it caught me off guard, and I don't want to be a wingman.  There have been a few times since that I thought it would be great to have him there to block me from creepers staring at me.  Maybe since he wants to be my wingman, he could set me up with his friends or something.  Interesting thought!

Well, those are the rantings of this tired girl!

When does one date turn into "dating"?

As any of you few readers, that read this know, I sometimes use this as an outlet to share weird situations I run into in this delightful singles world.  Well, I'm just going to get a little something out there, and then it'll all be good!

I got an email from a guy I went on 2 dates, count that 2 a long time ago, probably 14 months ago, or so.  I've posted previously about that experience.  Anyways, it was just a friendly "hello, what have you been up to" email, ---> I have to say that when my brother was on his mission, he had a certain girl that loved him and was waiting for him, and did a study abroad thing right near his mission, hoping to get a chance to see him... Anyways, she wrote to him all of the time.  He said that her letters wore him out.  Well, I get that way often!  If someone is just rambling or if they're constantly texting, oh my gosh, I have things to do... Okay, so that's not the case when I'm really into someone, but when I'm not... <--- font="">Okay back to the story.  The emails were coming, more like instant messages, but that's another thing... I don't mark myself online for the above mentioned reason. Then he says he has something he wants to show me, and proceeds to tell me, and tells me it reminded him of something I had said once.  I thought it was funny that he even remembered something so small, and told him so.  He said, "well, you were the only girl I dated that had ever said anything like that, so it stood out."

So, that's where my question of the night comes from.  When does a date or two turn into actually dating?  According to me, one, two, maybe three dates in is just "going on dates" not "dating."  It's still the process of figuring out if I want to actually "date" the person.  By the fourth date, yep, I'd say we're dating, but those initial dates not really.

I know some guys who think that just asking someone out means that they're stuck having to date the girl.  I don't know where that idea comes from.  Are they over thinking?  Have they run into lots of over-bearing, over-anxious women?  I don't know.  Probably, both.  I saw on a girls blog that we singles need to have faith, and faith without works is dead, so when the plan is to have an eternal family, but you don't go on dates, then how's that going to happen. 

I saw on a guys blog something about being Mr. Nice Guy, and it doesn't work for the nice guys.  He said that the girl saying, "You're nice, but..." is not the best way to put it.  It's hurtful and mean, but he doesn't think that they intentionally are trying to be mean, but it is.  So interesting to see these different perspectives coming out.  I think the "you're nice, but..." in the guy world, is the same as me having to be every guys best buddy.  It's nice to have friends, but really there needs to be more.

Speaking of being someone's buddy, which in this case I'm totally fine with.  I love when I get texts asking about other girls.  You know, if I'm friends with the girl that's one thing.  When I hardly know the girl... Let's just say, I am NOT a wingman!  Seriously!  It was something to help with an engagement a month or so ago, but that was a one time deal, and I'm not in the business of setting you up or giving you insights into getting that special girl!

Really?!, again!

I've been super chatty on here lately, don't know why, but sometimes you just gotta get it off your shoulders and move on.  Well, I do know what got my juices flowing.  I went out to breakfast with one of my good friends last weekend, and we have a lot of similar ideas.  She has worked with a mid-singles program down south, and so we got together to discuss new ideas, new needs, things to jump start people into progressing.

My mind has wandered over some of the things we talked about, the needs we see.  I, apparently, am one that people like to delve their secrets to.  I'm not going to give away any of their secrets, or mention any names, because they trust me, and I wouldn't ever want to lose their trust.  However, I may discuss, in general some of these things.

I've mentioned before how people like to tell me their dating problems, and want me to give suggestions, and help them out.  I must have some kind of sign that says "Relationship Coach Here" with an arrow pointing at me.  In the beginning, I would hear tons of things from women.  I now hear it from both sides, and it's weird. 

On a side note:  I do not agree with the women that bash on men, treat them poorly, or baby them the whole time.  I believe men have an amazing potential, and if they're going to ever live up to that potential they need to be treated with respect.  There's nothing more annoying than seeing a wife putting down her husband, treating him like he's an idiot, etc.  It makes me want to... well, to be honest, I think they need a swift kick in the rear.  Being a single, LDS woman, living where the norm is to get married at 18, and being 32, I think to myself that these women have NO freaking idea how lucky they are!  I know there are things that the whole world doesn't get to see in your relationship, but the whole world shoudn't have to hear and see you treating your husband like he's an idiot.  However, MEN, grow up!  Not all men, as I've previously mentioned, there are a great many men out there that are amazing!  Okay... done with that ranting!

Okay, back to the story.  I have people that confide in me inner secrets that a) if they're telling me, they better be thinking we're more than mere "acquaintances", b) I question why, what drives them to inform me (especially when they're big, and I can't be telling others to relieve that weight), and they don't seem to think we have any sort of relationship (relationship, not as in love, but relationship as in trust, friends, able to talk), and c) if they expect me to be able to hear all of it, and live forever knowing it, then they sure as heck better step up and be willing to help me when I ask them a favor or listen to me when I need to vent.

In the fall, I was told something that weighed me down, immensely!  I couldn't sleep that night, because I was so stressed about it.  My TMJ was insane for like the next week, granted there were other stresses that week, but that was a major part of it all.  In fact, since then, generally any conversation with Mr. D, we'll call him, leads to me rubbing my face and taking 6 aspirin.  I've considered Mr. D a good friend, for quite some time, and when we have disagreements, I find myself not sleeping.  Why?  I couldn't tell you!  I know that we're not ever going to be more than the person that he feels comfortable confiding in, and then not talking to for weeks.  It's selfish! 

This is leading me to the pet peeve of the moment... Communication or lack thereof!  I, personally, know that I need to work on improving my communication skills.  You can read about my communication insecurities here.  (It won't let me link you directly to that exact post, but it was a couple days ago.)  Anyways, I think that people don't know how to communicate well.  I think that texting, emailing, facebooking, etc. have all made people not know how to communicate.  A few months ago, a neighbor was over, and he was talking about how his brother works late hours, because then he doesn't have to be communicating with his significant other, because unless he's talking about himself, he doesn't know how to do it.  I for one would much rather text or email than call.  Calling terrifies me, pretty sure I've mentioned that before :)

I was riding home from Salt Lake with a guy, and he was great to talk to... IF... we were discussing him, his work, his family... anything else was so uncomfortable.  Then, again, there are the dates that you feel like you're on a job interview... 20 Questions is only fun, if they're not being fired at you one after the other, after the other.  Ask a question, let her answer, then answer it for yourself.  There is one guy I went out with a couple times, other than him knowing that I love ReAL, which he could've known from facebook, as well.  I don't think he could tell you one thing he learned about me, that he couldn't have learned by checking facebook or watching my interactions when I'm in front of everyone.  We went to a concert in Salt Lake, and the entire ride down, I said maybe two sentences, other than "uh-huh..." or "that's funny."  On the way home, I said "uh-huh" three times, THREE!

Then there is the girl that thinks she is being funny, by saying with a laugh how stupid someone is.  It's not nice.  You know things might not be as they seem, there, either, but putting someone down never makes you look good.

Then there's the person that's a "friend" that knows the ways to break down my walls.  He can tell they're up, and he knows the words to say to break them down, until I'm completely exposed, and then pulls a zinger out!  Really?!  What's the purpose?

Anyways, I'm going to be working on my communication skills!

Stuff...

It's been an insanely busy few weeks!  I had everything under control and timed correctly to get everything I needed to be done on time, whether it was for young womens or my conference.  I had a couple situations that distracted me from the task at hand.  Then a client of mine needed his stuff done, IMMEDIATELY!  So, I had very little sleep, and didn't feel as into my conference as I wanted to be. 

This is a board with three different kitchen designs.

This is the bathroom design.  It all was a basement.

My mind was wandering over the situations, and over this house that was huge, and I just felt run down.  We had Standards Night in the middle of it, and it came time to pick the hymns, and I just felt like picking "High on a Mountain Top" and "I am a Child of God."  Then we sat there listening to the great talk, and both songs fit perfectly!  I was amazed I could be guided, when I so was not feeling it! 

This conference was longer and bigger then ever before.  It ran Sept. 17-23.  Personally, I think it was too long, but I really enjoyed all of the activities, except for maybe the dance.  I am so grateful for all of the help!  I did a lot of work beforehand, but had those that helped not been there for the things I was over, it never would have happened! 

We had a Photo Scavenger Hunt FHE.  Service projects at the Utah Food Bank and the Bountiful Food Pantry.  Brad Wilcox did a mid-week devotional and was freaking amazing!  We had an ice cream trough for dessert, idea credit goes to Emma.  It was way fun! They did a temple night at the Salt Lake Temple (I was at Standards Night).  Friday night was an EXTREME carnival.  Emma, Jeanine, and Garrett were amazing planning this activity!  We had blow up toys, like jousting, sumo, and an obstacle course.  We had giant checkers, giant jenga, giant twister, Angry Birds, a photo booth, human bowling, popcorn, sno cones, cotton candy, s'mores, and a food truck, that was delicious!  It was so much fun!

Saturday was my day, well the day that most of my things I stressed about was on.  I had Matt Townsend as our keynote speaker.  He did an amazing job!  He was so right on with what the midsingles needed to hear, it was fantastic!  We had awesome workshops, games, food and fun!  The main complaint of the conference was about the dance.  We reserved an indoor soccer place and had a live band.  It should've been awesome!  Fun venue.  Fun band.  Well, the band never really played songs you could dance to, so it was like a concert on a soccer field.  There were big stresses the whole time planning the dance part, and setting it up, and all of that!  Next time I want it to be easier, even though I still want it at a fun venue.  My friend, John, got us a stage for the band, and that was the biggest headache, so I'm so grateful he took care of that for me!  There was a lot of physical labor this time around, because of the stage, transporting tables and chairs from the church to the field and back, plus set up and take down at the church.  It was big! 

I've compiled my list of the things I loved and things that needed work.  I'm sure others have suggestions, too.  Overall, it was a great experience!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On other notes, I've been getting a kick out of the differences between men and women.  Women for some reason have to give all of these details and feel like it's important to share that, whether it's talking in person, texting, email, etc...  So, I type this big long whatever, and the guy responds with "ok" or "cool."  It drives me insane!  I'm going to work on being less wordy :)  Then, I don't talk that much, when it's one on one, but I say something, that seemed important or maybe was funny in my head, and I just get this look like, "really?"  Then, I'm always like, I should just stop talking!  So dumb!  Or the situation of relationships changing, it's one way one day, and then completely different the next; and, in the cases I've seen recently, the guy is so quick to move to the next opportunity, and the girl is left going, Whoa, was that even real?  Sometimes it is really hard to tell. Especially being one that is especially cautious about getting involved, and then takes a long time to get over it; even when it was my decision.  It's just been interesting!

Oh, and I have been on two dates now where I've seen one of my laurels on a date.  Such a weird feeling!  The first one was funny, and she was way cute.  The latest one, I'm glad I was there, and could inadvertently stop a situation from continuing, at least where we were.  I sure hope she didn't drive somewhere else and continue the activity.  So strange!

My conference is over and now my young women leadership meeting is over, so now I can think again.  I have to say that my brain struggled changing from being MidSingles oriented to being Young Women oriented.  I actually was wondering what in the world was wrong with me, and kept praying for direction on what I should do for the leadership meeting, and it didn't come until yesterday.  I guess that's the way it works.  I procrastinate, but eventually it works out.

I don't remember what I posted prior to the conference, about the conference, so I hope I don't bore you with stuff I've already said.

There were moments in the planning of the conference that I questioned what I was doing and why; whether I was being directed in the right direction or if it was just me.  You all know those doubts that creep up.  It was so inspiring and amazing to see how everything pulled together, and be able to see that we really were being guided in what we had planned. 

The friday night activity was going to be night games, but the weather didn't cooperate, it was way too cold.  We ended up doing games inside, though, and it was way fun!  Not all people participated, but it was fun for the ones that did. 

Saturday was full of workshops, service projects, games, a keynote speaker in the morning, food, a Greg Simpson Band concert and a dance with karaoke, video games and a photobooth.  It was awesome!  Elder Fluhman of the Seventy was our keynote speaker.  When I had told Cyd about him, she said that I needed to have his wife speak, as well, because she is a great lady.  I didn't know about doing that, since I hadn't had any contact with him, but I thought it was a great idea.  Well, that morning he walked in, was introduced to me, and said, "Now, Pyper, my wife is here, and I think you need to have her share something."  It was so cool!  She said she'd be fine just listening, but ended up sharing some stuff.  It was great!

The workshops that I got to attend were amazing, and exactly what I felt they should be, when I asked these people to do it.  My stake is great!  I may have mentioned this before, and maybe I'm biased, but we had Louise Sill and Pres. Downs come and present, and I heard comments all day about how their messages had inspired people.  My favorite quote from Louise was that the scriptures always say, "And it came to pass..." they don't say, "And it came to stay..."  It's so true!  All of our trials and struggles come, but they pass, unless we dwell on them.  Then, they won't pass as quickly as they may have.  Our lunch was provided by a guy in our stake, and then the deejay was from our stake.  I sure hope that the stake isn't tired of helping me out, because I already have people in mind for the next time :)

On Sunday night, S. Michael Wilcox did our fireside.  It was amazing!  I have always loved the story of Jesus walking on the water, and coming to save the apostles in the fourth watch of the night.  (http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/6?lang=eng).  That's how He is, He could save us at the beginning of our trials, but he doesn't.  He comes in when we feel we can no longer handle it.  Bro. Wilcox said we have a fourth watch God, and we're a first watch kind of people.  It's so true!  At the beginning of the fireside, we had the choir sing Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer, arranged to the melody of Homeward Bound.  I have always loved Homeward Bound, however, I have not loved the hymn book arrangement of Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer.  Oh, my word, it was beautiful!  The choir number was a stress for us for quite sometime, but then it just worked out, and I'm so thankful for those that were able to pull it together.  Bro. Wilcox said that there are many songs that remind him of his wife, but there are three specific songs that make him feel her, everytime he hears one of them; and it just so happened that that was one of the songs.  People were close to the spirit when they picked that out.

On friday night, I was so tired, I was laughing uncontrollably.  It was so funny!  I don't think many of the midsingles, if any, have ever seen me like that.  Then, on Sunday during the closing song at the fireside, I just started bawling.  It was so funny, too!  I felt this huge weight lift off of my shoulders, that I hadn't even realized I was feeling. 

There were so many great experiences, even down to having lost my keys, and had many people looking for them.  Then, someone suggested we pray, and within 8 seconds (and I'm not even exaggerating) my keys were found, right where we'd already looked for them.  The turn out wasn't as huge as I was hoping for, hopefully, it will be better next time.  I do know without any doubt that all of those things were meant for someone, if not more than one, and that makes it all worth it!  I'm so grateful for all of the people that helped with everything.  I can't even put into words how grateful I am.  It was such a neat experience, and very educational.