It's November! October is over! With that being said, I can say that I'm trying really hard to be better, have a better attitude, and to serve more.
I received a priesthood blessing a week and a half ago, and am feeling better. I'm so grateful for the blessings that come through prayer, and the priesthood. I'm thankful for the righteous priesthood holders in my life that can give me blessings when I'm in need.
Interested in what priesthood blessings are? Watch this example.
I am very grateful for the many opportunities that I've been given, and the people that I've met. To think of the changes, opportunities, and things I've learned over the last year and a half, I'm amazed!
TMJ stinks! There are two things that cause it to flair. One of them is if I eat something I shouldn't, like toffee (learned that since Halloween) or chew gum. The second is stress. I can't believe how dumb it is! It's amazing for me to see how people affect me, how I LET people affect me. From someone not treating me the way they usually do or getting hit by a ton of strange comments on event pages or timing of responses to texts, etc... My face hurts! I sit here, holding my face, needing my neck rubbed, telling myself that I'm so dumb for letting myself get all tight like that. So, I know what I need to work on, I just need to know tricks for getting myself out of the stress... haha!
It's almost election day. I'm glad it's going to be here, and be done (hopefully), because I'm so sick to death of all of the commercials and all of the signs all over the place. I'm scared for the outcome of the election. I see people's posts on Facebook, and I get nervous! I've seen the events of fasting and prayer in behalf of the election. Events like that, or reading the Book of Mormon in said amount of time, I don't rsvp to, because I think that those things are very personal. However, seeing the negative comments on such events, makes me sad. People say that Heavenly Father wouldn't take part in politics, and that praying for such is wrong. I disagree whole heartedly! Heavenly Father will answer a prayer to help me find my keys, and that is such a miniscule thing in whole realm of existence, what makes anyone think he won't answer prayers in behalf of a nation. Reading the Bible or the Book of Mormon, you can see the Lord's hand in ALL civilizations. He didn't just send us here, to be on our own, although a lot of people think that, he sent us here to learn and grow and overcome trials and temptations. He sent us with help, and that's for all of us individually and as a whole.
Okay, I'm off my soap box now! Hope everyone is doing well!
It's been a horrendous, sad, painful (both physically and emotionally), miraculous few weeks. Here's how it went...
On May 18th, ALee called me and asked if I'd heard how Grandpa was doing that day. I hadn't yet, since I'd been running around seeing Mom at her Arts' Week performances and awards night, and teaching piano. I decided during that phone call that I was going to switch my piano lessons for the next day so I could spend time with Grandma & Grandpa. So, I quickly rearranged my schedule and got down to AF before 10:00 in the morning. At the time Grandpa was sleeping, but he soon got restless. He was antsy wanting to get out of bed, but his legs weren't strong enough. He hadn't been eating and the nurse said not to give him food unless he asked for it, because they were afraid of him choking. He asked for some shredded wheat, so we got him up and he ate some, then he said, "Can I at least get some juice?" It was kind of cute! Then he wanted to go back to bed. We got him in there, and he never really woke up again. As we have Grandma Mamie on hospice, I've been told signs to look for in the death process, I saw it was happening, but could not believe it was really happening, because he seemed so strong. I couldn't bare to leave. I knew when I kissed him goodbye that I was kissing him goodbye for the last time, in the back of my mind. I had to come home to teach piano to one family that couldn't change, so I left, so not wanting to leave Grandma alone, and not wanting to leave his side.
At 6:23 a.m., on May 20th, Grandma called and said, "Ross is gone, and I can't talk more..."
The next 5-6 days were kind of a whirlwind, but at the same time slow motion. There was a peace in Grandma's house. I didn't feel peace about Grandpa. I'm glad I got to spend that day with him.
The peace came.
Since about Mothers' Day, I'd been feeling pretty crappy! I thought it was acid reflux. The pain persisted, sometimes increasing, sometimes just being a dull pain. The day Grandpa died, the pain left. The pain started around Memorial day, again. On June 1st, the pain was so horrendous, that I didn't sleep that night until 5:40 a.m. on the 2nd. I had made an appt for June 3rd, so I was biding my time. As many of you know, I have no health insurance, so I was just waiting until then. I went to Cory's graduation dinner at the Olive Garden, and by 7:00 I was in tremendous pain. I couldn't ride in the car all the way home, so we stopped at Grandma Mamie's house, so I could lie down. We got home a little after 10:00, and by 2:00 a.m., I couldn't handle it one more second, so we went to the ER. At the ER, they gave me some fantastic medicine, and ran some tests. The ER dr. came back and said I had a really sick gallbladder that he'd like to get an ultrasound, but that there wasn't a tech to do it until later, so he sent me home at 5:00 something. I returned to the hospital for an ultrasound at 9:40 a.m. After the ER dr. saw the results of the ultrasound, she said that they needed to get me in for surgery soon, "so, what does the rest of your day look like?" I was amazed it was that urgent. She called over to the surgeon to see when he could do it, and he couldn't until tuesday, so that was the plan. Then, they had me go over and meet him. he explained what was going to happen, and said there were ways to have the surgery be sooner, if absolutely necessary, but to take the pain meds, and he'd see me on tuesday. He said if I was running on pain pill to pain pill to call him, and he could change things.
Friday morning I woke up to yellowish eyes and yellowish skin. I called the nurse to see what I should do, because it was listed as a "serious side effect" to the medication. After she called around to the pharmacist and doctor, they decided I needed to go in for an MRI at 9:35 p.m., so I was running on half a sandwich all day. The MRI was about 24 minutes long, and thank heavens for KSOP not having many commercials, I was able to make it through commercial free!
Saturday morning I felt horrific! I waited around to hear the results, but then called in around noon. No one was going to be there until 1:00 to read the MRI. So, I waited. I asked for a blessing and Derrick, Seth, and Michael from our ward came and gave me one. It was very nice. Right after the blessing the dr called and said I needed to go to the hospital immediately, and that he'd already have me admitted by the time I got there.
Saturday night- I had to have a scope down my throat to get a gallstone, that they thought was blocking the bile duct of my liver. I had adult jaundice. The surgeon that was going to do that, told us he was the best in the nation at this procedure, and that the national average was 90 min., and he could do it in 7-9 minutes. Well, after the procedure he came out and told Mom that there wasn't a stone there, but there was a toughness that wasn't normal, and may be a tumor. (Mom kept this a secret from me.)
The liver numbers are supposed to top out in the 50s, mine were in the 322+ range. They said my numbers were too high to perform the gallbladder surgery.
Sunday morning 5:00 a.m., the dr decides he has to do the surgery. Laproscopic gallbladder removal takes 45 mins. to an hour, and recovery is 2-3 days. So, that was the plan. Now remember it was Sunday, and the hospital didn't have it's normal staff. So, while in the surgery, they couldn't get my gallbladder out laproscopically. So, my 45 min. surgery turned into 4 1/2 hours. My poor mom sitting out in the waiting room was never told anything. She just had to wait and wait. I feel so bad for her! They had to hold down my intestines to carve out my gallbladder that was stuck to some other organs. They had to use a T tube, which is from like 30 years ago, and they never do those anymore, but it apparently worked.
Five days later, I was released from the hospital with two drainage bags and a lot of pain. Today I had my first check up since, and I came home with only one bag, which I'll have for the entire 6 weeks of recovery, and no more staples! The pain is still quite severe, but is manageable, and hopefully one day, I'll be able to eat anything I want.
I'm so grateful for all of the prayers that have been offered in my behalf and the blessings that have been given. I'm grateful for all of the visitors and phone calls and flowers from everyone showing their love and support. I know I've been blessed through this, and that the Lord is watching out for me.
