July!

It's my birthday this week! About a month ago I celebrated my "new" birthday.  It's been three years since my gall bladder was removed and my life was saved due to a handsome, young doctor that remembered something that had been done fifty years prior that he'd once seen in a book.  I have NO doubt that his remembering that was an answer to many, many prayers!  Well, as I've mentioned before, I am so grateful for being saved, and sometimes wonder why I was saved, what I'm supposed to be doing. 

For whatever reason the build up to this birthday has not been so fun.  I've been annoyed with not being at the place I always dreamed I'd be at, at this point.  However, at the same time, I'm extremely thankful for the opportunities that I've been given.

So, I have had no idea of what I wanted for my birthday.  Guess what I decided on... a bike!  It's been forever since I've ridden one!  I got one today.  It's small, and the guys at the store kept saying I needed a taller one.  I couldn't reach the ground on any taller ones.  So, I'm going to ride my little bike!

So, sometimes I'm amazed what people say to each other.  For example, people post whatever they have on their brains on Facebook, when they really wouldn't say that in real life.  Well, remember Mr. D from here, over time he's popped out with some amazing things, and I'm saying amazing, not in a good way.  Well, I've had the chance to hear from Mr. D., Jr.  Now, I'm not going to say he's anything like Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice, still a great guy though, but he is an awful lot like the Mr. D that I know.  These men are so concerned about where they are, that they're not getting married, that they're not meeting any women that are exactly 3 1/2 years younger than them (okay, so I'm exaggerating on the 3 1/2, but it's close), etc.  If they'd just let things happen, and not be so stressed about it, it would work out. Another thing, while relaxing and not getting so stressed about the above mentioned things, people really need to let go of what they have pictured for themselves, because the Lord may have something [or someone] way better than they're expecting prepared for them and their circumstances, whatever they may be.  Everyone has a past and everyone has issues, you need to let that other person in the "maybe relationship" have a say, whether they're able to deal with those issues or not, not just decide on your own.  It's a right that he's taken away from her or vice versa.  Another thing is that these Mr. D characters just talk and talk, not even aware that they're telling you all of these things that, although you were prepared to hear, may be affecting you personally!  Sort of like you don't matter, and I guess you don't.  So weird!

I've decided that besides all of the obvious reasons why being married, as man and wife, is important and should be happening, is the communication that being on your own lacks.  Men and women think so differently, and that is such a blessing in so many ways!  As a couple, you can discuss anything and everything, and you can let each other know when you're stepping out of reality.

For example, I'm a prime example of this!  I go on a date, it's super fun, then I don't hear anything from him for a week or so.  At first, I'm totally fine with that.  By that week mark/ week and a half mark, I have totally convinced myself that I've ruined everything, and I'm second guessing every little thing I remember saying or that I did something wrong or said something that could've possibly been read wrong, etc.  So, I'm a mess by this point!  Then I finally have to talk it out with someone, obviously not the person I should actually be talking it all out with, because apparently he hates me at this point :)  See... Craziness!!!  However, talking it out, I realize that yes, I've gone a little overboard, and need to relax.  See, they're concerned and scared, and so are we.  I think this dating stuff stinks at this stage of the game.  It's hard!  I so wish people would not read too much into things, and over think things, and just have faith.  I don't know why it's so hard, but it is definitely hard!

I think the same thing applies in many other situations, how you feel about work, how you feel about church, how you feel about your family.  If you have these inner discussions with yourself for too long without feedback from someone that's distanced from the situation, you're going to get stuck in a rut you don't want to be in.  If you're not happy with an aspect in your life, pray about it.  Pray long, and hard, and be hopeful, and keep moving!

Wow!  That was quite the tangent!  I've just been around so many different situations lately. Some have been things involving me, some are things that I get to hear about, since people like to share these kinds of stories with me!  My heart just hurts at times for these great people that are struggling!

Anyways!  I have six hours of work, 3 hours of piano, and then I'm off for the rest of the week!  I'm thrilled!  Hope everyone has a great 4th!  I'm proud to be an American, even though my heart is breaking for some of the changes and struggles that our country is facing!  I'm grateful for the freedoms that we have, and those men and women that fight and have fought for that freedom!

"Do You Talk as a Rule While Dancing?"

Anyone know what movie that line is from?!  It happens to be the show that I watch when I'm sick.  I don't know why, maybe it's the relaxing colors, the beautiful music, the handsome Mr. Darcy (as in from the movie, not from past posts :))

I was at a dance on Saturday night, and this line kept popping up in my head.  I've never been a fan of dances.  While watching people dancing, I thought to myself that I wish I knew how to dance like that, (you know the real dancing, not the jogging in certain shapes and thinking you're dancing), but then I thought, do I really?  Not so much!  I mean it would be fun, to be able to do something awesome while at a dance, but there are just some things that are way uncomfortable to me. 

I remember going to dances during jr. high and high school, not like the date dances, because obviously that wouldn't have the awkwardness, because you came together, but the other dances or stake dances, and just finding them really awkward.  Did you have to talk the whole time or could you just dance?  No one seemed to know what to do. Well, that's sort of the same thing now!

On Saturday, I was dancing with one of my friends, and we both mentioned how we felt awkward in this sort of setting, and I said, "Hey, at least we can be awkward together."  We continued to talk and dance, and it was quite enjoyable!

Then there was someone that asked me to dance, we have an uncomfortable past, and he kept talking.  I was right back there in jr. high, when I'd be dancing with someone I was uncomfortable with, and the whole song I kept thinking to myself... "let's not talk, let's not talk, when's this song going to be over?" 

So, I'd say yes to talking, just as long as you're smart about who you're dancing with :)

When does one date turn into "dating"?

As any of you few readers, that read this know, I sometimes use this as an outlet to share weird situations I run into in this delightful singles world.  Well, I'm just going to get a little something out there, and then it'll all be good!

I got an email from a guy I went on 2 dates, count that 2 a long time ago, probably 14 months ago, or so.  I've posted previously about that experience.  Anyways, it was just a friendly "hello, what have you been up to" email, ---> I have to say that when my brother was on his mission, he had a certain girl that loved him and was waiting for him, and did a study abroad thing right near his mission, hoping to get a chance to see him... Anyways, she wrote to him all of the time.  He said that her letters wore him out.  Well, I get that way often!  If someone is just rambling or if they're constantly texting, oh my gosh, I have things to do... Okay, so that's not the case when I'm really into someone, but when I'm not... <--- font="">Okay back to the story.  The emails were coming, more like instant messages, but that's another thing... I don't mark myself online for the above mentioned reason. Then he says he has something he wants to show me, and proceeds to tell me, and tells me it reminded him of something I had said once.  I thought it was funny that he even remembered something so small, and told him so.  He said, "well, you were the only girl I dated that had ever said anything like that, so it stood out."

So, that's where my question of the night comes from.  When does a date or two turn into actually dating?  According to me, one, two, maybe three dates in is just "going on dates" not "dating."  It's still the process of figuring out if I want to actually "date" the person.  By the fourth date, yep, I'd say we're dating, but those initial dates not really.

I know some guys who think that just asking someone out means that they're stuck having to date the girl.  I don't know where that idea comes from.  Are they over thinking?  Have they run into lots of over-bearing, over-anxious women?  I don't know.  Probably, both.  I saw on a girls blog that we singles need to have faith, and faith without works is dead, so when the plan is to have an eternal family, but you don't go on dates, then how's that going to happen. 

I saw on a guys blog something about being Mr. Nice Guy, and it doesn't work for the nice guys.  He said that the girl saying, "You're nice, but..." is not the best way to put it.  It's hurtful and mean, but he doesn't think that they intentionally are trying to be mean, but it is.  So interesting to see these different perspectives coming out.  I think the "you're nice, but..." in the guy world, is the same as me having to be every guys best buddy.  It's nice to have friends, but really there needs to be more.

Speaking of being someone's buddy, which in this case I'm totally fine with.  I love when I get texts asking about other girls.  You know, if I'm friends with the girl that's one thing.  When I hardly know the girl... Let's just say, I am NOT a wingman!  Seriously!  It was something to help with an engagement a month or so ago, but that was a one time deal, and I'm not in the business of setting you up or giving you insights into getting that special girl!

Articles and stuff...

Interesting read on dating right here.  The lady that wrote this article came and did a Monday night devotional for the midsingles about a year ago.  I think I wrote about it then.  There were some points that were really good, but there were things that were just plain obnoxious.  It was so fake! People were rehearsing on each other in the social afterwards, and it was hilarious to observe!  There were some fun things every once in a while that she gave of "he has interest in you if he does..." and vice versa.  It was funny to see some of those very things happening, even with one guy that had come in afterwards.  It was funny!

It's funny, because I'm not one of those that follow her, or her website, but every once in a while there's an article that speaks to me or affects me in some way.  Like this one, for example, was sent to me once by a guy.  He searched it out one night after we had had a less than wonderful conversation, and posted it on his facebook page.  I thought the timing was funny, but he couldn't have possibly posted it in any relationship to our conversation.  Well, a few minutes later he sent it to my inbox.  It fit him to the T, and I could see myself in the girl in the article.   It was interesting.  Oh, and here's  the article for the women that are in these kinds of relationships.

Now back to the original article up there.  The "I'm anxious..." feeling fits me to the T, at least in my last relationship. Since that relationship, I've been confused about what I was feeling, if I was reading my feelings correctly, not that it matters anymore, but I was second guessing a lot of it.  So, when I saw this title on facebook, I wanted to read it to see if any of my questions could be answered.  Let's say upfront, I was the initial ender to the past relationship, but it sort of drug on and on until it dwindled.  Anyways,  I really liked the scriptural references in this article!

All of these experiences, whether they're happy or hurtful, are all teaching me many things!  I'm grateful for the lessons.  I know that we have to feel pain and agony in order to understand and feel the greatness and glory!  Wouldn't life be so boring if everything was the same?!

Really?!, again!

I've been super chatty on here lately, don't know why, but sometimes you just gotta get it off your shoulders and move on.  Well, I do know what got my juices flowing.  I went out to breakfast with one of my good friends last weekend, and we have a lot of similar ideas.  She has worked with a mid-singles program down south, and so we got together to discuss new ideas, new needs, things to jump start people into progressing.

My mind has wandered over some of the things we talked about, the needs we see.  I, apparently, am one that people like to delve their secrets to.  I'm not going to give away any of their secrets, or mention any names, because they trust me, and I wouldn't ever want to lose their trust.  However, I may discuss, in general some of these things.

I've mentioned before how people like to tell me their dating problems, and want me to give suggestions, and help them out.  I must have some kind of sign that says "Relationship Coach Here" with an arrow pointing at me.  In the beginning, I would hear tons of things from women.  I now hear it from both sides, and it's weird. 

On a side note:  I do not agree with the women that bash on men, treat them poorly, or baby them the whole time.  I believe men have an amazing potential, and if they're going to ever live up to that potential they need to be treated with respect.  There's nothing more annoying than seeing a wife putting down her husband, treating him like he's an idiot, etc.  It makes me want to... well, to be honest, I think they need a swift kick in the rear.  Being a single, LDS woman, living where the norm is to get married at 18, and being 32, I think to myself that these women have NO freaking idea how lucky they are!  I know there are things that the whole world doesn't get to see in your relationship, but the whole world shoudn't have to hear and see you treating your husband like he's an idiot.  However, MEN, grow up!  Not all men, as I've previously mentioned, there are a great many men out there that are amazing!  Okay... done with that ranting!

Okay, back to the story.  I have people that confide in me inner secrets that a) if they're telling me, they better be thinking we're more than mere "acquaintances", b) I question why, what drives them to inform me (especially when they're big, and I can't be telling others to relieve that weight), and they don't seem to think we have any sort of relationship (relationship, not as in love, but relationship as in trust, friends, able to talk), and c) if they expect me to be able to hear all of it, and live forever knowing it, then they sure as heck better step up and be willing to help me when I ask them a favor or listen to me when I need to vent.

In the fall, I was told something that weighed me down, immensely!  I couldn't sleep that night, because I was so stressed about it.  My TMJ was insane for like the next week, granted there were other stresses that week, but that was a major part of it all.  In fact, since then, generally any conversation with Mr. D, we'll call him, leads to me rubbing my face and taking 6 aspirin.  I've considered Mr. D a good friend, for quite some time, and when we have disagreements, I find myself not sleeping.  Why?  I couldn't tell you!  I know that we're not ever going to be more than the person that he feels comfortable confiding in, and then not talking to for weeks.  It's selfish! 

This is leading me to the pet peeve of the moment... Communication or lack thereof!  I, personally, know that I need to work on improving my communication skills.  You can read about my communication insecurities here.  (It won't let me link you directly to that exact post, but it was a couple days ago.)  Anyways, I think that people don't know how to communicate well.  I think that texting, emailing, facebooking, etc. have all made people not know how to communicate.  A few months ago, a neighbor was over, and he was talking about how his brother works late hours, because then he doesn't have to be communicating with his significant other, because unless he's talking about himself, he doesn't know how to do it.  I for one would much rather text or email than call.  Calling terrifies me, pretty sure I've mentioned that before :)

I was riding home from Salt Lake with a guy, and he was great to talk to... IF... we were discussing him, his work, his family... anything else was so uncomfortable.  Then, again, there are the dates that you feel like you're on a job interview... 20 Questions is only fun, if they're not being fired at you one after the other, after the other.  Ask a question, let her answer, then answer it for yourself.  There is one guy I went out with a couple times, other than him knowing that I love ReAL, which he could've known from facebook, as well.  I don't think he could tell you one thing he learned about me, that he couldn't have learned by checking facebook or watching my interactions when I'm in front of everyone.  We went to a concert in Salt Lake, and the entire ride down, I said maybe two sentences, other than "uh-huh..." or "that's funny."  On the way home, I said "uh-huh" three times, THREE!

Then there is the girl that thinks she is being funny, by saying with a laugh how stupid someone is.  It's not nice.  You know things might not be as they seem, there, either, but putting someone down never makes you look good.

Then there's the person that's a "friend" that knows the ways to break down my walls.  He can tell they're up, and he knows the words to say to break them down, until I'm completely exposed, and then pulls a zinger out!  Really?!  What's the purpose?

Anyways, I'm going to be working on my communication skills!

Playlists

What are your top favorite songs you listen to?

I've been noticing things on facebook.  You can see when people are starting a new relationship, and they start posting all of these music videos or songs or whatever about how happy they are.  The same goes for people breaking up.  I bet "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum is the top song posted.  I've seen it so many times!  Some people post it on their profile with the whole thought, that they hope so and so actually sees it, or there's the sending it in a personal message.  I've actually been the recipient of those, and each time have been touched by it.  I'm more the post and hope someone sees sort of thing.  Then, a lot of the time, I just love a song and post it, and then after a few hours, it hits me that someone might read into it, and I worry about that.  

Well, I've been playing around on Spotify.  I have some favorites that have been long-time favorites, then there are new ones.  I love the power of music!  It can calm you, it can trigger deep memories that are fun or sad or dear to you.  It's funny how some songs I relate to someone, and they would have no idea that that song relates to them, but all these memories flood into my mind about them.  I love how some people leave an imprint on your life, it may have been just a short time of you knowing them, but they've impacted you.

I love how music can re-energize you!  I remember driving to work in Park City, which I absolutely hated that job, turning up Kelly Clarkson's second CD, and playing it really loud, REALLY!  It totally made things better.  Dealing with my crazy boss at SFD, Miranda Lambert's Kerosene, was my ringtone for her.  Music is funny!

So, my top five songs right now are (in no particular order :)):

1.  Gentle Savior- Daniel Beck
2.  Over It- Katharine McPhee
3.  Sure Be Cool if You Did- Blake Shelton
4.  Phonebooth (edited version)- Maroon 5
5.  Wanted You More- Lady Antebellum and One of Those Nights- Tim McGraw

Smile and enjoy your music!

New Year, New You!

It's that time of year, where you look back at all that has gone on, and you can see all the ways you've been blessed.  You can see where you've struggled, and decide on things you want to change.

I don't make New Year Resolutions.  I, generally, have time to sit and contemplate the things I want to change at Snowbird.  There's something about being up there, at the end of summer, out in the beautiful mountains, where you can feel closer to Heavenly Father than you do in the crazy, busy-ness that goes on down in the valley.  That being said, I'm not going to post any goals or resolutions, but I want to share some things I'm grateful for.

I have to say that the last year has been amazing in many ways!  Amazing in good ways and amazing in bad ways.  I feel like I've been being a downer for the last while, and I don't like that I've become that way, so I'm working on fixing that (I think I may have stated a resolution ;)). 

I've been serving in the LDS Mid-Singles program in Davis County for nearly a year.  For those that don't know, midsingles are singles in many various circumstances from divorced, widowed, and unmarrieds between the ages of 31-45 years old.  I've probably said this before, but I would never have imagined me being a leader like this.  When I started showing up for the weekly religion classes about 19 months ago, my plan was to attend the class, because I needed the spiritual uplift and get out of there.  I was shy and nervous, and didn't want to be noticed.  Then one day someone noticed me, and welcomed me in, and it felt right, so I stuck to it.  Through this program I have met a lot of amazing people that I have grown to love!  I've also learned many, many things!  Some things I sort of wish I hadn't, but oh, well!  Overall, I can't believe I'm the same person that walked in there not that long ago!  I've been able to step out of my comfort zone, that had me sitting on the back row, by the door, with my phone in hand, so I could escape, to being in front of many, many people and feeling completely comfortable.  I'm not saying that I'm always completely comfortable, but it's been amazing, because I have moments where I'm nervous and shy, but I just have to put on that "leader persona" and I can walk up there and do what needs to be done, and the nervousness and shyness dissipate.  I'm grateful for that!  I'm grateful for the wonderful people I've been able to associate with!  I'm still in shock to think that I accompanied Emmy nominated violinist, Jenny Oaks Baker.  It was thrilling!  Terrifying, but thrilling! 

I'm so grateful for a loving and supportive family!  I don't know what I would do without my mom, my brother, sister-in-law and their kids, and the support I can feel from my dad!  I'm thankful for all of my nephews and niece!  I'm grateful for each of their own identities, with their personalities, talents and all that comes with them.  Ford is brilliant and beautiful and so talented, and knows so much!  I'm grateful for his testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!  Ev is the funniest kid I know.  He's really smart, and is an amazing, athletic boy! Ady is hilarious and darling and my little twin!  Akston has been a comfort to me these past few months, as I get to cuddle him and rock him to sleep.  I am blessed!

I'm grateful for the people I've been able to serve with in young womens.  I'm amazed at the strength of the youth in the stake!  There are so many that have amazing gifts, talents, and testimonies.  I've loved getting to know them and see them grow up. 

I'm grateful for the abilities I've been given!  Heavenly Father has blessed me in so many ways, and I'm so grateful!  I'm in awe, knowing that He knows me, and knows my needs, and loves me.  I'm amazed that I can receive answers to prayers, and that even when I don't like those answers, and I keep wanting different answers, that I still know when my prayers are answered.

I wanted to share this video , as the new year is upon us.  I hope you enjoy it and take advantage of the new beginning that we all have!

Last Sunday was the 4th Annual MidSingles Christmas Music Devotional:  "God Loved Us So He Sent His Son."  It was amazing!  I'm so grateful for all those that participated and helped and put it together.  One of my friend's, that was pretty much in charge, mom said that this was the best one she'd been to, and she'd been to them all.  This was my second one to participate in.  The choir was amazing, really.  I was nervous the whole time for how it would come off, but they were great! 

It had been a huge weight on my shoulders, and on Saturday, I finally felt that weight lift, knowing that I'd done all I possibly could, and that had to be enough.  The Saturday before, I let weaknesses of mine show that some had never seen, and didn't know what to do about me.  Thinking about breaking down and crying in front of so many is somewhat embarrassing, but at the same time hilarious!  Nothing was working, and people weren't there, and by the end of the rehearsal I was a disaster.  Thank heavens for my friend, Tiffany, stepping in and taking care of organizing people to help decorate.  Poor Gary and Vaughn looked at me like they'd never seen anything like that, and didn't know what to do.  I had asked for people to bring trees and lights and garlands, if they had any available, and some guy came up to me afterwards and told me that that was not going to work, and asked me if I'd ever done anything like that and actually had it work.   I knew people would come through, and I had done it before, and it worked!  The guy apologized a few days later. 

Here are the decorations!  Now imagine the stage filled with people.  It turned out really well, and people were amazing to be there and we got it done so quickly! (My camera has a short in it, so none of the other pics turned out well)



The program was amazing!  There were many talented soloists, duets, ensembles, both vocalists and instrumentalists.  I was thrilled to be able to accompany one of the choir songs, and not have to accompany more than that.  I loved getting to sing!  I was able to sing in one of the ensembles, and it was accompanied by a strings ensemble and piano.  It was so cool!

I'd been spending so much time, getting the decorations made for these trees, and other things for that, plus a house I'm working on, it took a while for me to get Christmas up in our house.  It's up and I love it, other than the guy cut the bottom of the tree really crooked, so we have the leaning tree of Layton in our house.  When I say leaning, I'm not even kidding.  I turned it so it's leaning more towards the wall now, but it's WAY slanted!  Having the Christmas spirit has been a little more difficult this year than past years with the stress of activities and performances that have been happening, Mom's been way sick for almost 2 months, but last night she seemed much better, and my mood has put a damper on things.  I'm trying to be better, though.

So, you know when you're in an uncomfortable situation, there are those automatic reactions to fight or fly.  Well, flying is my way to cope.  I have to escape.   A couple months ago, I had gone to a fireside/devotional, and saw someone that I care a lot about with someone, and my reaction was, "oh my heck.... I have to get out of here."  I sat there and kept telling myself I'm a grown up, I can handle things and be mature about the whole situation.  Well, that talk lasted about a verse and a half of the opening song, I'm not even kidding, I was out of there!  Well, it's been a couple months, and you'd think I would be fine by now.  So, I was up singing in the ensemble at the devotional when this other someone walked in and went and sat next to the original someone.  It took all I had to stay where I was.  Holy cow!  What's the deal?!  The rest of the devotional went on, and I kept focused on the performers (apparently so focused that it looked like I was checking one of them out, but really I was watching the piano keys not anything else :)), and didn't escape.  I was so proud of myself.  Isn't that ridiculous!?  Thank heavens for family that was there to distract me afterwards, and responsibilities that got me back to being able to be me.  We had the fastest clean up of the Bountiful Regional Center, ever!  I was thrilled so I didn't have to do it by myself yesterday. 

Last night we had our annual Church side Christmas FHE.  It used to be that we'd get together and eat dinner and sing carols.  Now that Grandma isn't with us anymore, and Darlene lives in Mesquite during the winter, it has changed.  It was fun, though!

Last week two of Collin's kids had little programs for their tumbling and dancing.  Ev is an amazing little tumbler!  Ady is amazing on the bar at tumbling, and then quite the little dancer.  She had a mirror off stage, but right by her, that she was totally hamming it up, loving watching herself.  So funny!

I'm soon to be released from serving in the stake young women, which is heart breaking to me!  I've loved young womens.  Two weeks ago, I left an Evening of Excellence, and walked out saying, "This is why I love young womens!"  Wednesday night, Mom got a call asking if she'd be okay with me being released to serve in my ward.  She said no, because of all of my other responsibilities, but here I am the new primary secretary.  Hopefully, I'll be able to feel comfortable in this position being able to serve with kids soon.

Remember my dating post from last February?  Read here.  There are men out there that totally surprise me with how unaware, mean, rude, etc. they can be.  However, I'm not going to talke about that tonight.  I'm going to talk about the crazy women out there!

The other night I was at Cheesecake Factory after a midsingles temple night.  I happened to end up sitting in a booth with a group of men.  Fun for me :)  One guy had all of these abilities and experiences, and one of the other guys asked him why he wasn't married.  I thought it was kind of a funny conversation, because I've only had that sort of conversation with women.  So, guy A, with the experiences said he's ready to be married, but it's just not happening yet.  He said that he has moments when he thinks I could totally marry this girl, but he waits 6 months, and by that time the girl stops her fake behavior and then she's not what he wants, or she lies about her beliefs/standards, even to talking about how great her ward is, just to fine out that she's not a member of the church after dating for a while.  Listening to this, I just thought, OH.MY.GOSH!  I can't stand women like that!  These stupid women are out there ruining things for all these other great women!  I'm grateful that I'm not one of those women.  I'm the same person whether I'm dating someone or being in front of people or being by myself. 

Then there is the girl that is the total charmer.  She loves to have a following, she loves to have a following of men and women.  She's a great communicator, makes you feel like you are so important.  She goes out with lots of men, and sucks them right in.  She then opens up to them, some, and they open up a ton!  They tell her all of their past things, good or bad, and then she takes what they say, and use that information to warn other women.  So not a good situation!  Once again, the men are being chased away from decent women, because the men are wary about opening up, again; and don't want to be around women that that one woman may have been around.

Then there are all of the girls that are negative and put down EVERY guy they run into.  Really?!  I have to say that people are going to act the way they're being treated.  If you treat them like they're dumb, they're going to act like it with you. 

People deserve to be treated wonderfully!  Men, women, everyone needs to be treated with respect!  Be honest.  Be careful.  Be someone that someone can trust! 

Watch or read this.  It's a great message!

I have a secret...  I don't like the dating game.  I often wonder if it's as weird and hard for younger kids, in this day and age, as it is for mid-singles.  I know that when I was in highschool and college, dating was really enjoyable... of course there were funny, weird issues, but these days issues seems to be more frequent.

Actually, most of my dating experiences have been really good, I could say GREAT, in some cases!  The part I'm talking about being difficult is the in between time.  The "after the desicion to stop dating" or the time where you think someone might be into you, and you know you're interested, but the other person seems to have no idea that you are.  It's annoying! 

You sit there and weigh all of the different options... do you really want to stop dating?  If you've changed your mind, is it too late?  (Usually :))  How honest about your feelings should you be?  Do you take a risk?

Other things that are difficult... You see a guy that is obviously into your friend, but she's not seeming to notice.  Do you tell her?  Sometimes, I wish my friends would hint to the people I've been interested in, but of course there's a chance that would scare them away.  You see men being led on...  do you tell them?  This one is tricky, because a) guys think that it's jealousy, when I'm not, I just want to save them, or b) they just think I'm gossiping, and don't realize my intentions.

There you go!  I'm getting off my soapbox now!

Stuff...

It's been an insanely busy few weeks!  I had everything under control and timed correctly to get everything I needed to be done on time, whether it was for young womens or my conference.  I had a couple situations that distracted me from the task at hand.  Then a client of mine needed his stuff done, IMMEDIATELY!  So, I had very little sleep, and didn't feel as into my conference as I wanted to be. 

This is a board with three different kitchen designs.

This is the bathroom design.  It all was a basement.

My mind was wandering over the situations, and over this house that was huge, and I just felt run down.  We had Standards Night in the middle of it, and it came time to pick the hymns, and I just felt like picking "High on a Mountain Top" and "I am a Child of God."  Then we sat there listening to the great talk, and both songs fit perfectly!  I was amazed I could be guided, when I so was not feeling it! 

This conference was longer and bigger then ever before.  It ran Sept. 17-23.  Personally, I think it was too long, but I really enjoyed all of the activities, except for maybe the dance.  I am so grateful for all of the help!  I did a lot of work beforehand, but had those that helped not been there for the things I was over, it never would have happened! 

We had a Photo Scavenger Hunt FHE.  Service projects at the Utah Food Bank and the Bountiful Food Pantry.  Brad Wilcox did a mid-week devotional and was freaking amazing!  We had an ice cream trough for dessert, idea credit goes to Emma.  It was way fun! They did a temple night at the Salt Lake Temple (I was at Standards Night).  Friday night was an EXTREME carnival.  Emma, Jeanine, and Garrett were amazing planning this activity!  We had blow up toys, like jousting, sumo, and an obstacle course.  We had giant checkers, giant jenga, giant twister, Angry Birds, a photo booth, human bowling, popcorn, sno cones, cotton candy, s'mores, and a food truck, that was delicious!  It was so much fun!

Saturday was my day, well the day that most of my things I stressed about was on.  I had Matt Townsend as our keynote speaker.  He did an amazing job!  He was so right on with what the midsingles needed to hear, it was fantastic!  We had awesome workshops, games, food and fun!  The main complaint of the conference was about the dance.  We reserved an indoor soccer place and had a live band.  It should've been awesome!  Fun venue.  Fun band.  Well, the band never really played songs you could dance to, so it was like a concert on a soccer field.  There were big stresses the whole time planning the dance part, and setting it up, and all of that!  Next time I want it to be easier, even though I still want it at a fun venue.  My friend, John, got us a stage for the band, and that was the biggest headache, so I'm so grateful he took care of that for me!  There was a lot of physical labor this time around, because of the stage, transporting tables and chairs from the church to the field and back, plus set up and take down at the church.  It was big! 

I've compiled my list of the things I loved and things that needed work.  I'm sure others have suggestions, too.  Overall, it was a great experience!

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On other notes, I've been getting a kick out of the differences between men and women.  Women for some reason have to give all of these details and feel like it's important to share that, whether it's talking in person, texting, email, etc...  So, I type this big long whatever, and the guy responds with "ok" or "cool."  It drives me insane!  I'm going to work on being less wordy :)  Then, I don't talk that much, when it's one on one, but I say something, that seemed important or maybe was funny in my head, and I just get this look like, "really?"  Then, I'm always like, I should just stop talking!  So dumb!  Or the situation of relationships changing, it's one way one day, and then completely different the next; and, in the cases I've seen recently, the guy is so quick to move to the next opportunity, and the girl is left going, Whoa, was that even real?  Sometimes it is really hard to tell. Especially being one that is especially cautious about getting involved, and then takes a long time to get over it; even when it was my decision.  It's just been interesting!

Oh, and I have been on two dates now where I've seen one of my laurels on a date.  Such a weird feeling!  The first one was funny, and she was way cute.  The latest one, I'm glad I was there, and could inadvertently stop a situation from continuing, at least where we were.  I sure hope she didn't drive somewhere else and continue the activity.  So strange!

August- Weekends Outdoors!

This has been a great month, so far! 

The first Saturday of the month, my friend, John, took me up American Fork Canyon, one of my most favorite places of all time!  We drove around, had a picnic, did a little hiking and took fun photos.  It was beautiful!  I loved every minute of it!

The next Saturday we had a Canoeing at Causey MidSingles activity.  The water levels were really low.  There were about 20 people total, some came up later than others.  We had the perfect amount for the amount of canoes we rented. (Bottom two pics, courtesy of Jared :)) I was afraid to take a camera out on the water, with my luck, it would've ended up on the bottom of the lake!

I left Causey, got cleaned up, and headed to Snowbird, where we were for a week!

Great month!  This Saturday, I'm going to Moab, and the next weekend St. George!

I went to this fireside on dating about a month ago.  It was really funny, well, I thought it was funny!  It was all about the approach and ways for men to handle rejection, and still look like they have confidence, and for women to make sure they touch a guy they're interested in, in a certain way, no patting, you need to brush their arm with your palm, not just fingertips... stuff like that.  I was laughing at most of it!  It was really funny to see how these dumb things she was suggesting would actually work.  The whole reason I went, was because she had written an article that someone sent to me once about why he wasn't dating, and I wanted to see her in person.  Anyways, during the meeting people were acting like this information was life or death to them.  There were moments of awkwardness, when she said things not to do, that I know I've done, and that I'd even said some of these things, that I shouldn't have, according to her, and I'd said them to someone that was sitting pretty close in proximity to me.  I actually did reject someone the way she suggested to, once, and he was there, and wouldn't even look at me.  Can we say AWKWARD!?  After the fireside, while eating refreshments, people were practicing on each other.  It was hilarious!  She did say "to practice on your B list, not your A list," and people were taking advantage of the opportunity :)

Anyways, since then I've thought about some of the things she said, and I have to say I agree with her on some of the things.  She talked about how the girl needs to feel safe.  I hadn't ever really thought about that, probably dumb of me, but it never even crossed my mind that I hadn't felt safe with people.  I know I'm pretty shy, and I don't talk much when I first meet someone, but I just thought that was because I was shy.  (The funny thing is that whenever I'm in front of a crowd, like doing my midsingles things, I may get nervous, but it's my responsibility to lead, so I lead and talk and do whatever else is required of me.)  Well, I can tell you the day I realized I felt safe in this friendship/relationship and I understood what she meant.  I also realized that I don't open up very quickly, because I don't feel safe to.  An example is that I can plan some huge activity for the midsingles and feel confidant people will come.  However, if I think of planning a game night with friends, I sit and worry that no one would come.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to build up the courage to text someone, what is that about?!  It's a text!  Another weird side to this is that I can call up anyone and ask them to do a fireside or present at a conference, but if I have to call someone I know to do one of those things, it takes me ten years to decide I can actually do it!  So backwards!  Anyways, that's my venting for the day, now that that's off my shoulders, I can stop feeling like a dork for a dumb text tonight :)

Akston...

I have a new nephew!  He was born on tuesday.  He's darling, and was cuddly when I last saw him.  He's been in NICU since wednesday morning early, so I've seen some pictures of him.  He looks a lot like his biggest brother.  The nurse that helped in the delivery, said she was trying to be all professional, but the second he came out, she was like,  "holy cow!  That's a little Collin!"  Way cute!  I'll post a picture later, gotta get little Ford off to school!

Really!?

So, I have two confessions:  1.  I secretly want to own a bakery.  2.  I secretly want to be a motivational speaker.  The first one is probably not that big of a secret, since I love baking, and any chance I get, I take advantage of it.  The second one, I would imagine is a secret and probably a surprise, seeing as how I don't do much talking as it is.  I rarely have chances to speak, and when I do, I stress for forever about it beforehand.  However, when I'm up there, and actually speaking, I find I quite enjoy it. 

So, I'm not going to go on about a business plan for owning a bakery, but I am going to discuss this motivational speaker idea.

This thought came to me sometime since Grandma died, so in the last 14 months.  I've observed midsingle women, and how they act, and just want to tell them how wonderful they really are, and give them a boost of self confidence. I want them to see how Heavenly Father sees them, and get past how they see themselves. I want to point out the things I see them doing, that aren't doing them any favors.  Now, in my circumstances, obviously I don't have the answers, at least I don't have the answers for me.  I'm not saying any of this, for people to feel sorry for me or to have people ask "what can I do to help you get married," that approach doesn't work and makes things worse.  Who wants to be a midsingle?  I want to be a wife and a mom more than anything in the world.  It's not my timing that matters, it's the Lord's timing that matters.

I have the opportunity to be a leader of an LDS midsingles organization.  Being the leader is challenging, fun and sometimes hard.  For whatever reason, people think they can come to me, and I'll have all of the answers to make their dating lives better.  Hello, I'm in the same circumstance, I don't have the answers, or I wouldn't be in the same circumstance.  It's made me feel inadequate, that I don't have any answers or suggestions for them. 

There are many situations and stories that I've been told, and I'm going to share some of them. I'm omitting any names to protect the innocent :)  I hope no one is offended by me sharing their stories.

There's the let's go get a frozen yogurt, because you're not worth me spending an extra $15 and actually taking you to dinner.

 

Picture Joe Jr. from While You Were Sleeping.  Ick!  Here is this guy that thinks he's pretty dang cool, not catching on at all that she's not interested, no matter what she says, he's still pretty certain there's something wonderful going on.

Another version of Joe Jr.:  "You know Pops would knock the rent down; I could move in with you."  Someone who says, "Let's go to the park first, and depending on how that goes, I might buy you dinner."
 

Then, there's the guy that talks your ear off for forever, and you can tell is missing a few things up stairs, and asks, "Aren't you going to ask me for my number?"  Hello!  If you want her to talk to you on the phone, ask for hers!  Then, followed up by telling her friends, unknown to him, that she's not his type, but would be great for networking, to introduce him to her cute roommates.

Then we have this guy, "You're pretty, but I'm not gonna lie, I don't like weight on anyone... Especially me."  Would you look at that guy?  Of course he's funny, but really?!

Then we have the guy with the Gaston complex!  Thinks he's everyone's gift, and loves going out with a different girl every night.  Hello, do you have any depth to you at all? 

Then we have Mr. Darcy.  Mr. Darcy appears to be the cream of the crop, a little stand offish to some, but a charmer when he wants.  He needs to humble himself, take the pride down a notch or two.  Remember the scene where he's telling Elizabeth he loves her; he loves her against his better judgement.  He just keeps rambling, digging himself into a deeper hole, wounding her pride (what little she had, in real life.  Not that the midsingles' version of Mr. Darcy is professing love to anyone, he just gives excuses.)

These are just a small portion of the stories I've heard or experienced. I don't know why I've been called to lead the midsingles, I do know that this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be, and hopefully, with time, obviously not my time, I'll know why, and have a better picture.  Until then, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.  Thanks for reading my rantings!