New Year, New You!

It's that time of year, where you look back at all that has gone on, and you can see all the ways you've been blessed.  You can see where you've struggled, and decide on things you want to change.

I don't make New Year Resolutions.  I, generally, have time to sit and contemplate the things I want to change at Snowbird.  There's something about being up there, at the end of summer, out in the beautiful mountains, where you can feel closer to Heavenly Father than you do in the crazy, busy-ness that goes on down in the valley.  That being said, I'm not going to post any goals or resolutions, but I want to share some things I'm grateful for.

I have to say that the last year has been amazing in many ways!  Amazing in good ways and amazing in bad ways.  I feel like I've been being a downer for the last while, and I don't like that I've become that way, so I'm working on fixing that (I think I may have stated a resolution ;)). 

I've been serving in the LDS Mid-Singles program in Davis County for nearly a year.  For those that don't know, midsingles are singles in many various circumstances from divorced, widowed, and unmarrieds between the ages of 31-45 years old.  I've probably said this before, but I would never have imagined me being a leader like this.  When I started showing up for the weekly religion classes about 19 months ago, my plan was to attend the class, because I needed the spiritual uplift and get out of there.  I was shy and nervous, and didn't want to be noticed.  Then one day someone noticed me, and welcomed me in, and it felt right, so I stuck to it.  Through this program I have met a lot of amazing people that I have grown to love!  I've also learned many, many things!  Some things I sort of wish I hadn't, but oh, well!  Overall, I can't believe I'm the same person that walked in there not that long ago!  I've been able to step out of my comfort zone, that had me sitting on the back row, by the door, with my phone in hand, so I could escape, to being in front of many, many people and feeling completely comfortable.  I'm not saying that I'm always completely comfortable, but it's been amazing, because I have moments where I'm nervous and shy, but I just have to put on that "leader persona" and I can walk up there and do what needs to be done, and the nervousness and shyness dissipate.  I'm grateful for that!  I'm grateful for the wonderful people I've been able to associate with!  I'm still in shock to think that I accompanied Emmy nominated violinist, Jenny Oaks Baker.  It was thrilling!  Terrifying, but thrilling! 

I'm so grateful for a loving and supportive family!  I don't know what I would do without my mom, my brother, sister-in-law and their kids, and the support I can feel from my dad!  I'm thankful for all of my nephews and niece!  I'm grateful for each of their own identities, with their personalities, talents and all that comes with them.  Ford is brilliant and beautiful and so talented, and knows so much!  I'm grateful for his testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!  Ev is the funniest kid I know.  He's really smart, and is an amazing, athletic boy! Ady is hilarious and darling and my little twin!  Akston has been a comfort to me these past few months, as I get to cuddle him and rock him to sleep.  I am blessed!

I'm grateful for the people I've been able to serve with in young womens.  I'm amazed at the strength of the youth in the stake!  There are so many that have amazing gifts, talents, and testimonies.  I've loved getting to know them and see them grow up. 

I'm grateful for the abilities I've been given!  Heavenly Father has blessed me in so many ways, and I'm so grateful!  I'm in awe, knowing that He knows me, and knows my needs, and loves me.  I'm amazed that I can receive answers to prayers, and that even when I don't like those answers, and I keep wanting different answers, that I still know when my prayers are answered.

I wanted to share this video , as the new year is upon us.  I hope you enjoy it and take advantage of the new beginning that we all have!

Last Sunday was the 4th Annual MidSingles Christmas Music Devotional:  "God Loved Us So He Sent His Son."  It was amazing!  I'm so grateful for all those that participated and helped and put it together.  One of my friend's, that was pretty much in charge, mom said that this was the best one she'd been to, and she'd been to them all.  This was my second one to participate in.  The choir was amazing, really.  I was nervous the whole time for how it would come off, but they were great! 

It had been a huge weight on my shoulders, and on Saturday, I finally felt that weight lift, knowing that I'd done all I possibly could, and that had to be enough.  The Saturday before, I let weaknesses of mine show that some had never seen, and didn't know what to do about me.  Thinking about breaking down and crying in front of so many is somewhat embarrassing, but at the same time hilarious!  Nothing was working, and people weren't there, and by the end of the rehearsal I was a disaster.  Thank heavens for my friend, Tiffany, stepping in and taking care of organizing people to help decorate.  Poor Gary and Vaughn looked at me like they'd never seen anything like that, and didn't know what to do.  I had asked for people to bring trees and lights and garlands, if they had any available, and some guy came up to me afterwards and told me that that was not going to work, and asked me if I'd ever done anything like that and actually had it work.   I knew people would come through, and I had done it before, and it worked!  The guy apologized a few days later. 

Here are the decorations!  Now imagine the stage filled with people.  It turned out really well, and people were amazing to be there and we got it done so quickly! (My camera has a short in it, so none of the other pics turned out well)



The program was amazing!  There were many talented soloists, duets, ensembles, both vocalists and instrumentalists.  I was thrilled to be able to accompany one of the choir songs, and not have to accompany more than that.  I loved getting to sing!  I was able to sing in one of the ensembles, and it was accompanied by a strings ensemble and piano.  It was so cool!

I'd been spending so much time, getting the decorations made for these trees, and other things for that, plus a house I'm working on, it took a while for me to get Christmas up in our house.  It's up and I love it, other than the guy cut the bottom of the tree really crooked, so we have the leaning tree of Layton in our house.  When I say leaning, I'm not even kidding.  I turned it so it's leaning more towards the wall now, but it's WAY slanted!  Having the Christmas spirit has been a little more difficult this year than past years with the stress of activities and performances that have been happening, Mom's been way sick for almost 2 months, but last night she seemed much better, and my mood has put a damper on things.  I'm trying to be better, though.

So, you know when you're in an uncomfortable situation, there are those automatic reactions to fight or fly.  Well, flying is my way to cope.  I have to escape.   A couple months ago, I had gone to a fireside/devotional, and saw someone that I care a lot about with someone, and my reaction was, "oh my heck.... I have to get out of here."  I sat there and kept telling myself I'm a grown up, I can handle things and be mature about the whole situation.  Well, that talk lasted about a verse and a half of the opening song, I'm not even kidding, I was out of there!  Well, it's been a couple months, and you'd think I would be fine by now.  So, I was up singing in the ensemble at the devotional when this other someone walked in and went and sat next to the original someone.  It took all I had to stay where I was.  Holy cow!  What's the deal?!  The rest of the devotional went on, and I kept focused on the performers (apparently so focused that it looked like I was checking one of them out, but really I was watching the piano keys not anything else :)), and didn't escape.  I was so proud of myself.  Isn't that ridiculous!?  Thank heavens for family that was there to distract me afterwards, and responsibilities that got me back to being able to be me.  We had the fastest clean up of the Bountiful Regional Center, ever!  I was thrilled so I didn't have to do it by myself yesterday. 

Last night we had our annual Church side Christmas FHE.  It used to be that we'd get together and eat dinner and sing carols.  Now that Grandma isn't with us anymore, and Darlene lives in Mesquite during the winter, it has changed.  It was fun, though!

Last week two of Collin's kids had little programs for their tumbling and dancing.  Ev is an amazing little tumbler!  Ady is amazing on the bar at tumbling, and then quite the little dancer.  She had a mirror off stage, but right by her, that she was totally hamming it up, loving watching herself.  So funny!

I'm soon to be released from serving in the stake young women, which is heart breaking to me!  I've loved young womens.  Two weeks ago, I left an Evening of Excellence, and walked out saying, "This is why I love young womens!"  Wednesday night, Mom got a call asking if she'd be okay with me being released to serve in my ward.  She said no, because of all of my other responsibilities, but here I am the new primary secretary.  Hopefully, I'll be able to feel comfortable in this position being able to serve with kids soon.

Summer!

It's been a while, again!  Since my last post lots has gone on!  My computer died at Daughters of Faith, so that's one of the reasons I haven't blogged.  (This loaner computer stinks, and sometimes doesn't read the keystroke, but sometimes doubles the keystroke, so I'll try to make sure I spell check, but forgive me if there are mistakes.)

So, I'm going to write by month what has gone on...

June

Months ago I emailed Jenny Oaks Baker to see if she could do a fireside for the midsingles.  I never heard from her, so I didn't think anything of it.  For whatever reason, I've branched out and am able to ask people I don't know to do devotionals; I still feel funny asking people I know to do things.  So, on May 30, I got an email back from her saying she'd be able to do it either on June 24 or on August 26.  I already had one scheduled for August, so we went with June.  She was really concerned that she was spreading herself too thin, and not enough people would attend.  Here's a link to her "Amazing Grace" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uQIPFc-8jw.  Listen through her talk, you'll love the music, and her message on faith is fantastic!

She called me two days later and said that she couldn't do it that day anymore, because her accompanist wasn't going to be in town until July.  Before I could even think, out of my mouth popped, "Well, I can do it!  I am a piano teacher."  Her first question was, "You're a piano teacher, but can you actually play anything or are you one of THOSE teachers?"  I told her I could pretty much play anything, and she said, "Okay, I'll send you some music soon," and that was that.  After getting off the phone, I was like, "What the heck did I just say?"

I know that I've worked really hard, nearly my entire life, to play the piano.  I had a fantastic teacher that taught me so much, and loved me, and that made me all the better.  However, I have to acknowledge that my sight reading abilities are a true gift from Heavenly Father.  Had I not practiced all that I have, I wouldn't have known of that gift, and I am so grateful for it!

She sent me most of the music, and it was a challenge!  I practiced and practiced and practiced.  My mom at one point said, "You know there is such thing as practicing TOO much."  I practiced at home, I practiced at the church, etc. and then went to Daughters of Faith four days before.

DOF is a camp just for laurels (young women 16-18 years old).  It's an amazing two days of total devotion to feeling the Spirit and learning the gospel.  Not unlike years passed, it was amazing!  I didn't get to participate in a lot of the things, because I had to put together the slideshow, and that took FOREVER! Then we had this really neat activity that talked about the journey of the golden plates from Nephi to Moroni to Joseph Smith and then to us.  It was amazing!  Then I showed this short message  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHY-Y9yraR8.  It's so touching!  Elder Holland is amazing!  Then, I unplugged the projector from my computer, and my computer fried!  So horrendous!  So, the next day, I had to spend the whole day doing another slideshow on someone else's computer.  I only broke down twice about this, so I think I was alright!  Cute Cassie kept checking on me!  She was great!

When I got home, I got to practicing, and Jenny and I set up a time to practice on Saturday at 11:30.  She was busy teaching at a Suzuki camp, and we had a half hour to practice seven songs!  In my mind, I kept thinking about musicians and artists and what kind of people they are, but then I was thinking who she was a daughter of, and I figured I'd get a mix of the two.  Well, let's just say, it was a terrifying next 32 hours!  We didn't ever get to go through a whole song without stopping for some interruption, and we didn't play through the last song, which I had just gotten all of it that day.  We set up a run through time for Sunday, and that was that.  Sunday came, and it was one of the busiest days of my life!  Thank heavens for those girls and guys that came to help set up, and all the people that brought refreshments.  Jenny had emailed me in the morning asking for someone to tend her kids during the devotional, and to bump our time up by about 15 minutes.  My cute cousin, Ashley, babysat the kids, and I was ready to practice when she wanted.  She called a minute before it was time, and said she was going to be late, and that we wouldn't have time to practice.  She thought we'd be fine, though.  This was pretty stressful to me, but showed she had confidence in me, so that helped me out.

Her message was about having faith.  It was interesting, because as she ws sharing certain scriptures, my mom was giving me the look of "you should be listening, this will help you out."  She knew how scared I was!  She talked about how watching one of her friends having a baby and getting married and having an awesome job made her think, "Hey, I'm following the commandments, why aren't these things happening for me?"  Let's just say it hit really close to home!  I only had a couple mistakes, one that was quite big, and she gave me a look, but other than that, I felt really good about it.  I gave the guy conducting the program, and didn't have me on it, because I didn't want it to be about me.  I was accompanying, and that was it.  In her introduction, she announced, "Pyper Nicholes and I are going to perform for you tonight."  It was really amazing!  I had some great support there, Mom, Grandma JaNae, Bart, Jen, Linds, her roommate, Ashley, and Amy and her parents.  It was amazing!  At the end, I was so touched, because not only was there a huge line to meet her, there was  a line to talk to me.

If you're still reading... we're to July!!!

Well, sort of... On June 30, one of my most favorite people threw me a birthday party!  It was so much fun!  Amy was still in town, and I was thrilled she was here!  Her dad brought his karaoke stuff, and we ate, played games, visited, and sang karaoke.  It was a great night!  There was a funny mix of people, from work, my neighborhood, my family and my midsingles.  It was fantastic!

I turned 32 on July 4th.  It was a great day!  It's so weird to think my dad was my age when he passed away.  On july 11th, I was exactly the same age, and it may sound morbid, but that day has been in my mind for a very long time.  I was thinking that there was something wrong with me, in thinking that if I made it past July 11th, I'd be fine.  Reading that right now, makes me feel like the biggest dork!  However, a few days ago, Collin had a scare that ended up being that he was dehydrated, but he immediately said to mom that he knew she was worried, because he was 29, and dad was 29 when his heart stuff started.  My heart broke for him that he was scared about it, but I know that I am not alone in my weird concerns.

July was filled with lots of busy-ness, lots of family, lots of friends, and pretty much a great time!  I have one huge complaint, and that is with PC Laptops!  They claim to have great service, and great products.  They do have great warranties.  However, there service stinks!  I bought my laptop in November from them, and have never been as satisfied as I was with my hp laptop, but I've been fine with it.  When it died at DOF, I took it in, and they told me it would be 4-6 days, 9 days later, I called, after I had called since day number 5, and they said it was just sitting there waiting for me.  I was thrilled to have it back.  I got it home, and there was no sound, so I took it back in on Monday, and they had it for a few days, then said I could have it back again, so I could show the slideshow at the DOF fireside, but needed to have it back on Monday, and they'd give me a loaner computer, and it worked only with external speakers.  I was sick that Monday, so I took it in on Tuesday.  I stood there for 25 minutes, because the guy that usually helps me was helping someone else, and no one wanted to help me.  I finally asked them to at least start the paperwork, and so the guy took my laptop, but didn't give me the loaner one.  Then, Sterling, the guy that is working on my computer finally came over and told me the loaner wasn't going to be there for a couple days, and he'd call me.  He never did!  I kept calling, and they never said it was there.  The next Friday, so a week later, my computer died, again!  So, I took it in, and Sterling acted put out that I was in a hurry to leave, because he had stuff to do, but I had not ever been told the loaner was there, so I didn't know we were doing a data transfer.  When I was leaving, I said, "Now you're really going to call me when my computer is ready, right?"  He said of course he would.  I responded with, "Well, you keep saying that, but not once have you or anyone else here ever called me to tell me anything or return any of my phone calls."  He apologized, and said he'd call me in 10 days when it was ready.  Well as of today, it has been 14 days, and still no phone call!!!  The final diagnosis for the computer was a fried hard drive, partially fried motherboard, and fried internal speakers.  They had said they hadn't seen anything like it before.

We had girls camp the last week of July, and it was a great experience for the girls!  I wish I was of more use up there.  They didn't really have our presidency do anything, other than one activity on the last day.

We had a three hour block, where each ward and our presidency had a tent, and we'd do 20 minute rotations, working on a value in Personal Progress (https://www.lds.org/young-women/personal-progress?lang=eng).  Our presidency had the value of Virtue.  There aren't a lot of things you can do in 20 minutes for Virtue, but we had a great time!  Cyd had found an activity that young women had a glow in the dark bow on their backs, and they had to run through the dark, through some obstacles, keeping the bow (which represented their virtue) and make it to the end, where there was a picture of the temple.

Since it was daylight, and we were outside, we had to alter the plan.  We played flag football.  We had three girls with gold flags in their pocket, race to get up the hill to the picture of the temple, while Mom, Cyd and I tried to steal their "virtue."  It was really fun!  Then I had the girls take a piece of unwrapped candy, which looked like it was going to be sweet, but really was a warhead, and talked about how Satan impersonates the Spirit and ways to develop strengths that will help you discern where the impressions are coming from.  Cyd gave them Treasures that were chocolate with caramel or peanut butter in it, and talked about how our virtue is our treasure.  Mom went through their Virtue  project #3 that has them read Alma 5 (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/5?lang=eng#)  It was such a great experience!  It was really fun for them to get to know us on a different level, than just sitting in the meetings with them.

Let's just say this summer has been great, and it's not over yet!  I've been learning lots and enjoying lots of things and people!

In just over a week, the midsingles' conference I've been working on for the past four months will finally be here!  I'm so excited!  I keep worrying that I'm forgetting something, because I'm not too concerned about it, as long as people come.  As previously mentioned here, I've taken on a new calling, in addition to my calling in the stake young women presidency.

It's an awesome thing to be a part of.  I've had some great helpers in this huge endeavor.  I was so nervous terrified to announce to the committee heads that I had this really strong impression, along with the scripture that was to be the theme, that we needed to do a conference in the spring.  I hadn't had much to do with the planning of the one in the fall; I just came in towards the end of the planning and helped out with the finishing touches.  I was scared of their reaction, whether they would support me or not.  If I was more confident in myself, I'd probably be able to announce it in a way that they would just jump on board.  However I announced it, apparently pretty timid, they said they would do it; not that they were jumping for joy over it.  Some seemed way excited, and some I couldn't read.  Seeing that everyone has a full-time job, some have kids, some have school, some are just crazy busy, and we all have our own callings in our own wards and stakes, I've wanted to make this as easy for them as possible.  Apparently to the effect of making someone feel bad, even with my intents being to help out, it didn't.  (Have I mentioned that midsingles range from 31-45?  I am 31, so I'm a baby in the group, and haven't had all of the experience that some of these people have, so I'm learning as I go.)  I, also, have a fantastic high councillor that is so supportive and amazing!  I'm lucky getting to work with two amazing men, in my two positions, that have such strong testimonies in the gospel, that they will do all that is possible for any activity.  I email Bro. Grant twenty times a day, sometimes, depending on what's going on.  He's like an uncle to me; I have way more contact with him, than my real uncles.  I just have to say that I have an awesome stake!  So many people from our stake are helping out in Centerville with my conference, it's fantastic!  I'm so grateful for the individual phone calls, texts and chats that have taken place, to help give me direction and understanding of what I've needed to be doing.

In the process of planning this, I've discovered things about myself.  Some I'm glad I've found, some I hope I can change.  Prior to this, I never asked anyone to do anything.  If I had to ask something, like getting a reservation somewhere, I'd have Collin do it for me.  I've contacted so many people about doing workshops, firesides, concerts, cooking, etc.  Granted a lot of it has been via email, but that has still been a big step for me.  I've been in awe speaking with some of the people I've talked to, i.e. S. Michael Wilcox, even though he was my institute teacher once; and Virginia H. Pearce, daughter of Pres. Hinckley.  Just thinking that I was talking on the phone to a daughter of a prophet was so amazing to me. 

I wish I didn't come across as being a strong woman, not that there's anything wrong with being strong; I'd really like someone to take care of me, though.  The more strength I show, the more I wish I didn't.  I don't like being so independent, and I really don't like doing so much on my own.  If it comes to the point that I need to ask someone to help with something, my first concern is he (she) will think I'm ridiculous, because I can't handle something, or that what I need isn't nearly as important as whatever they're doing.  I worry that I come across as not caring about people or stand-offish, because I don't let myself get close to people.  It takes me a long time to get close, but once I am, I am forever.

I've found kind of a coping mechanism for me.  I'm all business, a lot of the time.  I just want to let go, and socialize; well, that's what I tell myself, but then when I'm in the situation that I can just socialize, I'm hoping for some task to come up, so I'll have a purpose, or I get out my phone.  It's not happening as much as it used to, but every once in a while it sneaks up.  I just have to say that sometimes it's lonely when you're in charge of something.

The other night we went to Get Air in Kaysville, and jumped on trampolines, and it was so much fun!  I had no concerns of needing to get to a task, I was comfortable and having a great time. 

Well, I think that's all of my ramblings, for now.  I wish I could always keep the perspective of everything's going to work out, and not to worry about things.  I'm really good at worrying, though.  I get it from Grandma Mamie!

Whatever the case, I know that the Lord has had His hand in the planning of this conference, and I hope that those that attend will feel that, and know that He knows each of them individually, and loves them.  He has great faith in them, because He knows what they can do, and He wants to see them reach their potential!