October... So Not my Favorite!!!

Often people are so excited for October. The fresh, crisp air, the cooler temperatures, the changing colors, etc... Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all of that! However, October is full of sadness for me! I try to not to dwell on things, and keep going, because there's nothing else to do, but it's still there. People that haven't lost a loved one won't understand what I'm talking about, but the empty feeling is overwhelming at times. You don't really talk about it to "outsiders," because you don't want to make them uncomfortable, and you don't know how they feel about the subject. Some friends say it's totally fine, but then act kind of nervous when you're talking about it. That's totally fine, and I understand that. One day I got a message from a guy friend of mine that said, "one day you'll have to tell me about your dad..." It was the first time any guy has said anything like that, and only really close friends have ever asked about him. I was so impressed, because my dad is part of who I am, and sometimes I feel that not talking about him is denying his existence. I know it's not, but there are so many parts of me, that are because of him, that I think it will help people know me better. So, that being said, I try to not let it affect me, but it does. I'm the type of person that never wants to hurt anyone, so instead of saying anything, I just hold my feelings inside, until they burst! Well, the same thing happens with this hurt I feel inside. I hold it in, and don't talk about it much. I don't want to make my family hurt, so it's a subject that we are very careful about. We talk about him a lot, but on those actual days, we struggle to. Anyways, so that hurt stays inside, but tends to make me very tense, at times, and sometimes a little more fiesty than normal. I tend to get my feelings hurt more easily. This time around, I cry, I cry easily! So things that aren't such a big deal, and then other things that really are a big deal to me, I just cry. Not the best way to win friends and influence people :S. I'm not going to say that I hurt anybody, because I don't know that I have, but I do know I've made someone(s) mad at me. I'm sorry for that! I was reading Neal L. Anderson's talk "Trial of Your Faith", and see that the challenges for me aren't as big as many that others are going through. It created a self awareness that I needed to see. I love general conference! Let's just say, I'm really glad that October is nearly over! I hope that I'll get back to being my normal, happy self. I hope that I still have friends when it's done :)

Stuff...

It's been an insanely busy few weeks!  I had everything under control and timed correctly to get everything I needed to be done on time, whether it was for young womens or my conference.  I had a couple situations that distracted me from the task at hand.  Then a client of mine needed his stuff done, IMMEDIATELY!  So, I had very little sleep, and didn't feel as into my conference as I wanted to be. 

This is a board with three different kitchen designs.

This is the bathroom design.  It all was a basement.

My mind was wandering over the situations, and over this house that was huge, and I just felt run down.  We had Standards Night in the middle of it, and it came time to pick the hymns, and I just felt like picking "High on a Mountain Top" and "I am a Child of God."  Then we sat there listening to the great talk, and both songs fit perfectly!  I was amazed I could be guided, when I so was not feeling it! 

This conference was longer and bigger then ever before.  It ran Sept. 17-23.  Personally, I think it was too long, but I really enjoyed all of the activities, except for maybe the dance.  I am so grateful for all of the help!  I did a lot of work beforehand, but had those that helped not been there for the things I was over, it never would have happened! 

We had a Photo Scavenger Hunt FHE.  Service projects at the Utah Food Bank and the Bountiful Food Pantry.  Brad Wilcox did a mid-week devotional and was freaking amazing!  We had an ice cream trough for dessert, idea credit goes to Emma.  It was way fun! They did a temple night at the Salt Lake Temple (I was at Standards Night).  Friday night was an EXTREME carnival.  Emma, Jeanine, and Garrett were amazing planning this activity!  We had blow up toys, like jousting, sumo, and an obstacle course.  We had giant checkers, giant jenga, giant twister, Angry Birds, a photo booth, human bowling, popcorn, sno cones, cotton candy, s'mores, and a food truck, that was delicious!  It was so much fun!

Saturday was my day, well the day that most of my things I stressed about was on.  I had Matt Townsend as our keynote speaker.  He did an amazing job!  He was so right on with what the midsingles needed to hear, it was fantastic!  We had awesome workshops, games, food and fun!  The main complaint of the conference was about the dance.  We reserved an indoor soccer place and had a live band.  It should've been awesome!  Fun venue.  Fun band.  Well, the band never really played songs you could dance to, so it was like a concert on a soccer field.  There were big stresses the whole time planning the dance part, and setting it up, and all of that!  Next time I want it to be easier, even though I still want it at a fun venue.  My friend, John, got us a stage for the band, and that was the biggest headache, so I'm so grateful he took care of that for me!  There was a lot of physical labor this time around, because of the stage, transporting tables and chairs from the church to the field and back, plus set up and take down at the church.  It was big! 

I've compiled my list of the things I loved and things that needed work.  I'm sure others have suggestions, too.  Overall, it was a great experience!

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On other notes, I've been getting a kick out of the differences between men and women.  Women for some reason have to give all of these details and feel like it's important to share that, whether it's talking in person, texting, email, etc...  So, I type this big long whatever, and the guy responds with "ok" or "cool."  It drives me insane!  I'm going to work on being less wordy :)  Then, I don't talk that much, when it's one on one, but I say something, that seemed important or maybe was funny in my head, and I just get this look like, "really?"  Then, I'm always like, I should just stop talking!  So dumb!  Or the situation of relationships changing, it's one way one day, and then completely different the next; and, in the cases I've seen recently, the guy is so quick to move to the next opportunity, and the girl is left going, Whoa, was that even real?  Sometimes it is really hard to tell. Especially being one that is especially cautious about getting involved, and then takes a long time to get over it; even when it was my decision.  It's just been interesting!

Oh, and I have been on two dates now where I've seen one of my laurels on a date.  Such a weird feeling!  The first one was funny, and she was way cute.  The latest one, I'm glad I was there, and could inadvertently stop a situation from continuing, at least where we were.  I sure hope she didn't drive somewhere else and continue the activity.  So strange!

August- Weekends Outdoors!

This has been a great month, so far! 

The first Saturday of the month, my friend, John, took me up American Fork Canyon, one of my most favorite places of all time!  We drove around, had a picnic, did a little hiking and took fun photos.  It was beautiful!  I loved every minute of it!

The next Saturday we had a Canoeing at Causey MidSingles activity.  The water levels were really low.  There were about 20 people total, some came up later than others.  We had the perfect amount for the amount of canoes we rented. (Bottom two pics, courtesy of Jared :)) I was afraid to take a camera out on the water, with my luck, it would've ended up on the bottom of the lake!

I left Causey, got cleaned up, and headed to Snowbird, where we were for a week!

Great month!  This Saturday, I'm going to Moab, and the next weekend St. George!